Slumlords
by misssun1
Summary: Slumlords of Arabasta, Akefia Bakura & Malik Ishtar decide to start an adventure through the Grand Line to further their dreams of limitless power and wealth. OnePiece/Yugioh crossover. non-yaoi. M: coarse language&violence *changed bounties to 134 mil*
1. Humble Beginnings

This is a One Piece/ Yugioh Crossover. Bakura is Thief King Bakura, and Malik is Malik and Marik Ishtar. This is rated M for extremely coarse language, some violence, and some sexual references that some may find offensive. This is not a yaoi, or any type of romance. Bakura and Malik tend to cuss a lot because they grew up in the slums. Any grammar mistakes within the dialogue are made on purpose, because these people are obviously not English majors.

One Piece and Yu-gi-oh do **_NOT_ **belong to me. If they did, I would be a whole lot richer and famous. Anyways, rate/review/enjoy.

* * *

Malik allowed a blissful sigh to escape from his lips as he leaned onto the back legs of his plush chair, letting his sly lavender eyes drift shut for the first time in what seemed like months. Tantalizing scents taunted his over tuned nose; calming vanilla, smooth honey… Peace- Malik hadn't gotten any of that since he taken the role of a lord of the underworld in Arabasta. A small, almost unnoticeable sigh passed by his caramel lips. Who could have known that running the slums of the country would involve so much work?

"Malik….Malik! Stop dozing off, you lazy ass! We have work to do!" A familiar voice screeched unbecomingly.

A purple orb cracked open lazily. "'Kura, we do work all the time. Why, just today, we killed the dissents, blew up a factory belonging to the king, and robbed the retirees down the street. We're slumlords, for the gods' sake. We aren't supposed to _have_ work." He protested apathetically. Never the less, he forced both eyes open and rested all legs of his chair back on the rug to give his partner in crime his full attention.

Bakura frowned at the nickname, but opted to ignore it and release the cumbersome sheaf of papers being held in his tan arms onto the rickety table between the two. Malik blinked at the smack. "That's a lot of papers." He squinted his weary eyes and tilted his head to the side in a vain attempt to read the chicken scratch adorning the crisp white pages. "They could actually merit my time." He shot a scathing glare at the white haired man. "If I could actually read the damn things, Akefia." He hissed coldly, before a familiar lazy smile worked its way back onto his face. "So what's so important that you disturb the omnipotent _me_ from my nap to show me a rather large stack of illegible papers, hmm, 'Kura?" His voice was suddenly more carefree.

"These papers are all of our contracts to people. Once you show that we know their secret, I draw up a contract. Even you should know that, Malik. These contract's are the deals that they cut with us for us to keep their secrets-just that, secrets. They also contain other information that could prove important if we have to kill them." Bakura slipped out a precarious stack of tattered papers from the pile and began to thumb through the pages expertly. "You know, if my hand writing wasn't illegible, we wouldn't be cut a lot of the deals we have. Half the time, they give up on reading my contracts and just sign, not knowing that they signed away their families, homes, and money." He drawled indignantly, before pulling a sheet out and laying it before the blond. "This is our contract with Crocodile. This is what is so important." His finger danced down the line before resting on a bolded area. "This is the secret…." The digit trailed elegantly down to a line near the bottom of the paper, "and this is the deal." He cleared his throat as he tapped on the spot impatiently. "This is what is so damn important as to wake you up from your nap, O Wise One." He sneered sarcastically, ignoring the man's squawk of offense. "It says that we get a 50% cut of what the casino, Rain Dinners, earns each month. And that he also completely excludes us from his," The man's lip curled in disgust, "distasteful coup of the government by providing us with the necessities such as food, water, and wine." As Malik yawned, Bakura pulled another paper from the pile angrily. "This is what he's been paying us. Stop yawning and pay attention, O Omnipotent One. The first two years and a little while more were fine. We have several undercover agents working at the Rain Dinners to make sure that our pay out is exactly 50% of profits." His finger jabbed into a series of calculations dating four months previous. "We only got 45% four months ago, 27% three months ago, 10% two months ago, and just last month, none. Nada, zilch, zero." Bakura looked up at Malik as he replaced the papers on the table, stormy eyes blazing furiously. "This is what is so damn important."

Malik chuckled, much to Bakura's annoyance, as he leaned back in his chair. "This is what you disturbed me for? So, what? We don't get a half a million belli more. It's not gonna kill us. Oh no! The world is ending because Bakura can't have a cent more in his greedy clutches. The apocalypse is upon us! Repent!" He said sarcastically, before allowing his eyes to lazily slip shut. "Go ahead and do it yourself if you care about the money that much. Don't bug me anymore: it's annoying."

A frown of annoyance pulled at Bakura's cold lips, but a small smirk of knowledge quickly replaced it as he sauntered over behind the relaxing blond. "So you won't help me?"

"Nope."

"Even though not honoring a contract is the ultimate act of insubordination?"

"Nope…. Wait, what?" A lavender orb instantly snapped open in confusion.

Bakura hid his smirk and settled for appearing gravely serious. "It shows that he doesn't respect us enough to stay true to contract, Malik. He doesn't thing that we're _powerful_ enough to do anything about his insubordination. And if you don't come, he'll be proven correct." He explained sorrowfully. His guarded grey eyes flashed joyously. Malik was easy to maneuver when he thought that his reign of pride and violence was being challenged.

A splitting headache pierced through his thoughts and he gasped in pain, meeting Marik's suspicious gaze. A golden eye was glowing brightly on the blonde's forehead. "Stop thinking such rebellious thoughts, _partner_. One might think that you are trying to manipulate me to your own pathetic whims, Akefia." He hissed dangerously.

Bakura gritted his teeth as a shimmering blue shield appeared around his head, cutting him off from the drilling headache. He ignored the inevitable screeches of happiness as several blue bolts flew from the rest and disappeared into the dry air. Marik ignored him as his lips pursed in thought while leaning forwards, eyes coolly calculating possible actions as he ran through possible scenarios. Finally he stood up and smirked at the annoyed Bakura, who had opted to remain behind his impenetrable shield. "Fine. We'll go collect the money. How ever annoying it is that I must play into your greedy hands, I do not take kindly to insubordination among our inferiors." Suddenly he grinned broadly and skipped over to the door. He shot a sheepish smile back at Bakura before straightening out and walking semi-calmly through the large double doors.

Bakura sighed as he released the shield and followed Malik from a distance. Who would have thought that Akefia Bakura would end up partnering up with a certified maniac? Although many had called the tyrannical man insane, few realized how correct they were. The only _living_ people who knew the extent of Malik's insanity were his family and Bakura; the only three who knew of the dissociative personality disorder that plagued the twenty-two year old's mind. As Malik had explained it to him in a rare fit of complete and total clarity, instead of the one stream of conscious that most contained, he had two; both stemming from the same brain. Certain stimulants such as frustration, anger and hatred usually led to his more masochistic half's release into the world. Bakura called it Marik, to prove to it that it could never replace his business partner, however similar it may have appeared. However, since leaving his family, particularly his half-brother, no one had been able to assert any semblance of control over the volatile creature residing in the depths of Malik's mind. Only it could and would decide when it would sink back into the recesses of his mind.

Bakura couldn't help but allow a smirk of amusement slip across his lips as he stepped onto the clean sidewalk. All around him, people were wallowing in dirt and filth. But before him strode the still smiling Malik, who had a young albino sweeper ahead of him, relieving the sidewalk of the grime sitting upon it. Bakura followed the other lord unhindered; protected by their reputations and the sweeper. The white-haired sweeper had been hired on Malik's whim. He believed that he was above the filth and grime of the slums, and was ushering a new era in. He thought the sweeper was metaphorical of him and Bakura, sweeping the filth out of the slums and bringing in people no better than politicians to rule the area. Bakura also hypothesized that Malik did not like to wear shoes, but he did not like walking on the mucky sidewalk either; hence, the sweeper. Bakura didn't mind the practice unduly much; the eager young boy worked for free, awed to be in the presence of the slum's rulers. And it kept his shoes clean, so he didn't have to waste any of his ill gained belli to buy a new pair. A minute problem had arisen temporarily; rumors had spread that the young albino was an illegitimate child of Bakura's because of the similarities in hair color. All traces of the rumors had been stamped out violently, and the boy's mother had protested against ever associating with the slumlord, in bed or otherwise.

Malik glanced back at Bakura as the crowd thickened and beckoned him forwards. Bakura calmly picked up his pace, refusing to do anything as undignified as running or _skipping_ in front of the people surrounding him. These were the people that the young lords had to keep an eye on. These were the people who tried to assassinate them daily so they could gain the position of ruler of the underworld. This was when Malik's devil fruit came in handy.

Malik pulled Bakura close to whisper unheard into his ear. "There's a group of men following us. They have knives and guns. They are part of the recruitment office of the rebel army, and are under orders from Kohza to approach us about our stance on the upcoming battle. If we support the king, they attempt to kill us. If we support the rebels, they herd us around and pretend like we aren't a million times more powerful than their pathetic leaders." He growled the last part angrily, his other self obviously deciding that it was the time to step in. "How do we want to handle this? Either side we support will end up starting a war against us in the slums. That would create complications, Akefia."

Bakura smirked crookedly as he pulled the two to a stop. "We handle it my way, Marik." He turned around and bowed dramatically to the men conspicuously trailing them. "Greetings, rebel army officers. It has come to our attention that you would like our stance on the issue of the State versus the Rebels." He said grandly. The crowd around instantly silenced, intent on hearing what the young slumlords would say. A demonic smirk crossed his features as he lifted shimmering blue hand. The rebels looked uneasily at the glowing limb. "We are on no one's side. We fight for ourselves, and we refuse to be governed by any of your pathetic whims. We _will _kill anyone who comes towards us with a weapon or trace of malicious intent. This goes for anyone living in the slum who wishes to be left out of the battle. If any member of our kingdom is harmed by rebel or by king, you will all feel our wrath." A rebel collapsed as a matching blue flame fled from his body to Bakura's outstretched hand. "Tell your leaders that if you approach us again, more than one man will end up soulless." He hissed before swirling around and marching towards the casino. The young sweeper was forced to run to catch up with the angered lord and quickly cleared a lopsided path for him.

Marik cackled insanely, and the crowd backed away from him. "Leave us alone, unless you wish to become my mind-slaves." He warned with a deranged snicker. The men stumbled away in horror, dragging the limp body behind them. Marik watched them leave before following Bakura into the buzzing crowd.

He quickly jogged to catch up to the waiting man and folded his arms imperiously as he gazed down at the head of white hair. "That was pretty good…. For you at least. And now no one will approach us for support for the rest of today and the days during the battle, hopefully." As they began to walk, he continued to speak. "What are we going to do if Crocodile is not there? After all, he is the person that we need to resolve things with."

Bakura glanced at him. "Well, first, you can use your _gift_ to figure out if he's there or not. If he's there, we go directly to him. If he's not, we steal all of the money that we deserve and some extra as compensation, and then we wait to confront him."

Marik bared his teeth aggressively. "Don't you think that I would have done it if I could, Akefia? I haven't controlled his mind before, so I can't look for information there."

Bakura rolled his eyes as he pointed to Rain Dinners. "Marik, you and Malik are a certified idiots. Think about it. We are slumlords. Almost everyone in the slum is a prostitute, an alcoholic, or a gambler. There's certain to be someone in there that you've controlled their mind before who can tell us if Crocodile is here or not."

Marik growled at the degrading comment, but closed his eyes and did as Bakura suggested. A golden eye appeared on his forehead before he opened his eyes, a fiendish grin slipping across his wide lips. "He's there all right. I'll let Malik take over for this portion. Waiting bores me." The glow disappeared as the man blinked his calmed eyes slowly. "What happened?"

Bakura shrugged as he pointed to the casino. "Nothing much. Just had to establish our position with the rebel army and now we are going in to get Crocodile." Malik nodded before flipping a rusty gold coin to the boy. "You are dismissed for the day. Go do drugs, or whatever kids do these days." He dismissed carelessly. The sweeper nodded eagerly before disappearing into the crowd, broom tucked under arm.

"Ready for our pleasant conversation with Croccy-buddy?" Malik asked as they walked across the bridge.

"Yeah, 'cause I'm really in the mood for crocodile tears." Bakura muttered sarcastically.

"That's not funny." The blonde dead panned.

Bakura punched him in the shoulder lightly. "Shut up."

* * *

"Miss All Sunday. What is that infernal racket?" Crocodile demanded as he clenched his fist in annoyance. Vivi glanced between the two, eyes wide with terror. Even Luffy had quieted to listen to who would dare interrupt Crocodile in the middle of his nefarious plot.

Miss All Sunday's glowered angrily as she glanced over to her employer. "If I am hearing correctly, it sounds as if the sex gods of the slum, Smut and Slut, are going to be coming down the stairs in a brief moment." She listened for a moment longer. "It seems as if they are arguing about if they came the correct direction or not."

An annoyed growl escaped the tall man's lips. "Why are they coming right now? Don't they understand that I am busy?" He demanded angrily as he straightened his tie and jacket.

The yelling became louder, and slightly more distinguishable to the occupants of the room.

"What do you mean, are we lost? Are you doubting my powers?"

"No, I just think that you're an idiot. Crocodile is a maniac who enjoys money and wealth! He wouldn't be down here in this dank and dark dungeon."

"Croccy is slimy! This fits him perfectly!"

"Stop calling him Croccy! Do you know how damn annoying that is? I may steal your soul just so you shut up, fucktard!"

"You try to steal my soul and you know what happens. Besides, I call him Croccy because I don't take him seriously. You shouldn't either; after all, he's only worth 81 million belli."

"He's a Shichibukai! Don't you think that he's gonna have some sort of weapon and power?"

"Not strong enough to defeat us. My mind moves faster than his damned sand."

"Your mind moves like the rain falls from the sky; not at all. We're lucky he hasn't taken us out from a distance with that damned sand. You know both of our limitations! He could've killed us anytime he wanted to!"

"No, we could've killed him anytime we wanted to. And my mind is like a steel trap, thank you very much."

"Are you kidding me? Are you fucking kidding me? This is from the person who barely even remembered that we talked to Crocodile three years ago! And now you're preaching to me about his powers? You are such an idiot!"

The two arguing men started down the stairs. They didn't seem to notice anyone but each other, so caught up in their argument with the other.

"I'm the idiot? You're the one who jumped off a cliff to see if you could fly!"

"That was perfectly justifiable! I thought I could use the souls like a rocket, you know. It would have worked if some one hadn't dropped a brick on my back!"

"I figured since you were already falling, it wouldn't matter!"

"It was working, and I had a bruise for like, five years, and you have the nerve to tell me that it didn't matter?" The white haired man turned around, obviously putting on a show of ignoring the blond. His gaze dropped to the annoyed look from Crocodile and he raised a hand. "Hey, Malik. We're here." He drawled

A wide smile broke across Malik's face as he smacked Bakura's head. "Hah! I told you 'Kura. He was in this dungeon place. And you called me an idiot. Pay up."

Bakura grumbled as he glared scathingly at Crocodile as if it was his fault he lost the bet, before pulling a wad of belli from his denim pocket. "Here, bastard." He mumbled as he walked down the cracked stairs towards the frowning Crocodile. His eyes drifted over to the cage, before focusing back on the tall man standing before him. "I hope we aren't interrupting anything."

"Not at all." Crocodile hissed through gritted teeth.

Malik skipped forwards and leaned on Bakura's shoulder, sending a pert wave to Miss All Sunday. "Hello, princess. How's business going?"

"Hello, Smut and Slut. How's whoring going." She shot back bitterly.

Malik sneered. "You would know, princess."

Bakura disentangled himself from Malik's arms and sauntered over to the woman, licking his lips as he appraised her. Slowly he slid behind her and slipped his tongue along her neck erotically. "That's right, darling. You were screaming our names like our hired _whores_. Who're you to be calling names?" He murmured mockingly as he pulled his head away, surreptitiously unclasping the diamond necklace encircling her neck and smoothly slipping it away with him.

She moved to shove him away, an angry blush staining her cheeks. Bakura merely laughed as he danced away, dangling the necklace provocatively between his lithe fingers. "You never did pay us for the job, sweet heart. This should work well enough though."

Her hands flew to her neck, feeling for her necklace desperately. She quickly crossed her arms and her grasping limbs appeared all along Bakura's body, slapping and grabbing for the jewels held in his nimble digits. He laughed and tossed the necklace back to Malik. "Catch, Malik."

Malik caught it and dangled it between his tan fingers, holding it up to the dim light as he inspected it for flaws. "Very nice, princess. You have quite an eye for fine jewelry." He mocked, playing along with Bakura.

Bakura noticed the hands beginning to slide towards Malik and decided to take action. "Hey, Darling. Is this one free of charge, or do you want something?" He asked before smoothly sucking on one of the fingers growing in strange positions from his body. A look of disgust appeared on the woman's face, and the hands disappeared, leaving her standing with her arms crossly folded.

Malik tossed the necklace back to Bakura. "Here, take it 'Kura. I don't want psycho bitch comin' after me instead."

Bakura laughed and pocketed the necklace as Crocodile began to growl. "What do you two buffoons want? I am actually quite busy right now, and I need to return to my plan." He gestured to the grounded Vivi.

Malik gasped dramatically as Bakura patted Crocodile's back companionably. "You have another whore besides psycho bitch? Congrats, Croccy buddy." The blond laughed.

"Vivi is not a whore, you bastards!" Luffy called out from inside the cage, beating against the bars angrily. "Leave her alone."

Malik smiled endearingly at him. "Shut it Shorty." He ordered as a golden eye glowed on his forehead. Suddenly, Luffy was deathly quiet, and his eyes remained blank even as he dropped to the cement floor on his knees.

"I've been trying to shut him up for a while. I suppose you do have your uses." Crocodile muttered sarcastically.

Malik smiled slyly at him. "I had nearly forgotten the reason _why_ we even decided to grace you with our presence in the first place." The eye disappeared from his forehead as he straightened and adopted a more serious posture. "We'll make this short and sweet. We've noticed a severe lack of payment to us over the last few months." An anguished moan slipped from Luffy's limp form and Malik glared at him irately. "Shut up, Shorty. It doesn't hurt that much."

Bakura chose to cut in, holding a few stray papers to the light. "These are the papers that tell about our bargain with you created three years ago and the amount of money we should be receiving each month based on how much money the Rain Dinners makes." He pointed to an area of writing in red. "This upsetting trend of you not paying your full dues to us began four months ago. Four months ago, we received 45% of profits, three months ago 27%, two months ago 10% and one month ago…" He looked up, granite eyes cold, "Imagine our surprise and dismay when we received no money at all from you, Crocodile." He shook his head as he shuffled the papers together. "You know our deal. You pay us 50% of casino profits each month and supply us with food, water, and wine to leave us out of your distasteful coup. We don't reveal that you are the man behind the curtain, so to speak. If you do not pay us what you owe and interest, your plan will spread through the underworld like wild fire. Anyone associated with the filth of the country will know in less than a day. That means all of the rebel army will know almost instantly."

Malik stole the conversation back. "You'd be dead before then though. We don't _like_ insubordination." He inspected his nails apathetically. "But you know how to stop it all. Pay us the amount that we request, and save all of us the trouble."

Vivi lurched to her feet and grabbed Bakura roughly by the shoulders, spinning him around to face her. Her eyes searched his face desperately. "Y-You knew?" She stammered in shock.

Bakura shrugged the hands off quickly. "Knew what?" He glanced over at Crocodile and Malik. "About his little coup d'état? Yeah. He had to pay to keep us quiet though."

She staggered backwards as tears spilled from her eyes, before tripping over and piece of rubble and falling dejectedly to the ground. "How…. Why…. Why didn't you tell the authorities about this? Why didn't you tell King Cobra?"

Twin sparks of hatred flashed in the lavender and granite eyes as their attention snapped to her sharply. Before they could answer, Crocodile cut in with a maniacal laugh. "You're asking the 134 million belli a piece slumlords why they opted to gain money and influence instead of the enmity of a Shichibukai? How pathetic." A bright blue flame sparked across Crocodile's body, causing him to fall to his knees in pain.

"Don't forget that we killed your 285 million belli predecessor easily, Crocodile." Bakura hissed angrily.

Malik glared at the kneeling man scathingly. "The only reason your bones aren't resting with his is because you are beneficial to us. Once you finish being beneficial to us, you stop breathing." He quickly took over his mind to stop the use of his devil fruit powers and kicked the man in the face. "Understand?" He demanded, releasing Crocodile from his mental captivity.

Crocodile spit out a trace of blood, glaring furiously at the duo. "Quite." He growled through gritted teeth.

Captain Smoker calmly stood up and walked to the bars of the cage. "They are the lords of the Arabasta's slum, Princess Vivi. They are some of the slimiest bastards in all of the Grand Line. Of course they would not save their home country." He remarked evenly as he continued to stare at Bakura's infuriated eyes.

"Princess?" Malik purred dangerously as he stepped over to the woman's fallen form.

"This place is not my home. It stopped being my home when your damned father, King Cobra, killed sent an army out to kill my family. We were nomads, and he killed them off because we were on the land for the in construction city of Rainbase. I was the only survive, and I vowed with my life that I would avenge my family. If that means allowing such a disgusting coup to occur, so be it." Bakura hissed at her, flames of blue sparking violently across his body.

"Hey Princess. Guess what I got on my back, hmm? I was forced to live under ground guarding the secret of Pluton for you father." Malik tore off his shirt. "And this is what I got for a reward. This damned thing engraved into my back by my father." His eyes slipped over to the engrossed Crocodile and he found his mouth easily slipping into a lie. "All this damned thing says is that I was a tomb keeper, and that I am a sacred guardian of the throne. Do you think that I want this? Huh?" He demanded angrily, before punching Vivi in the face. "Gods damn you! Gods damn all you royals to hell! How dare you mess up my life! It's your fault that I'm insane, it's your fault that I'm a slum lord, and it's your fault that I have this despicable thing on my back!" He yelled as he kicked her into the bars of cage.

"Malik. Calm down. We have business to finish. Then we may continue our conversations with the princess." He spat coldly before turning to Crocodile. "Stop staring, you slimy creature. Give us our payment for _all_ four months and interest, and we shall leave you to your own devices."

Crocodile gave a crooked smirk as he got to his feet, arms extended openly. "That's the problem, boys. You two would turn me in out of spite for me. And I can't have you do that." He suddenly pulled two pairs of cuffs from his jacket and snapped one set around Bakura's tanned wrists.

"Malik, run! Now!" Bakura roared as he tried to stall Crocodile. He lashed out at the Shichbuukai, but the man merely dissolved into sand and dodged around him.

Malik turned around. "Bakura! Shut up! Just let me kill this stupid-!" His eyes widened as he saw Bakura struggling with the handcuffs and sought to control Crocodile in time. Crocodile didn't stop and managed to snap the cuffs on him as well. Malik growled before trying to control him.

Crocodile remained in place, smirking smugly. "What's wrong, Malik, Bakura? Are your devil fruit powers not working?"

Bakura growled as he smashed the cuffs against a rock in an attempt to release himself. "What the hell? What did you do to us, Crocodile?"

"Don't tell me the highest bounties in the Arabasta have never heard of sea stone." He mocked as he pocketed the keys. Malik and Bakura looked at him blankly. His face shifted to one of slight shock. "You really don't know what sea stone is, do you?"

"No shit, Sherlock." Bakura snarled as he tried to kick Crocodile. The kick merely went through his sandy middle and threw the grey-eyed man off balance. "Gods damn it. Let me go!" He yelled angrily as he slashed at the Shichibukai with his sea stone cuffs. The cuffs automatically solidified Crocodile's sandy body and slammed into his face. Malik too began to try and hit Crocodile with the sea stone in a vain attempt to get free.

Crocodile growled as he brutally slammed them into the cage with his sand. "Shut up, you nuisances." He nodded to Miss All Sunday and she nodded as she pulled some chains off of the table before binding the slumlords tightly against the bars of the cage with thick locks.

Bakura licked his lips sarcastically. "Mhm. Kinky, darling" He murmured suggestively, only his eyes betraying his fright.

Miss All Sunday slapped him with a loud smack. "Good bye, Smut and Slut. Have a nice swim." She ordered softly as she walked back towards Crocodile, a satisfied sway in her steps.

Crocodile snapped and water began to flood in along with a large Bananawani. "Princess Vivi. Where we were before the two buffoons entered? You have the option of escaping to stop me, or trying to figure out which Bananawani ate the key to save pirates and allow your country fall into ruins." He sneered. "Don't feel too pressured."

Miss All Sunday followed him out the door and dutifully shut it behind the two.

All eyes instantly slipped to Malik and Bakura. "Even when I try to be a good partner, you ignore me and rob me of revenge. You coulda stopped Crocodile and saved me, you jerk." Bakura spat irately as he attempted to wiggle free of the chains.

"Hey! You've put me through a lot of shit before and I haven't yelled at you. It's my _life's_ dream to kill the royal family, and I was so damn close." Malik retorted as he tried to rub his hands together to get warm. He glanced around at the leaking room. "How do you guys stand to be so cold? It's damp and wet and miserable." He complained as he looked over at the screaming Strawhats and Captain Smoker. His eyes fell to the flooding floor and he kicked out at the water dejectedly. "I can't swim so I kinda do need to get out of here quickly." Vivi jumped onto the broken stairs safely and Malik booed.

Captain Smoker gave him a searing glare. "You have devil fruit abilities. Of course you can't swim."

Both Malik and Bakura's heads turned to him, faces blank. "What do you mean by that? We never learned how to swim. What does that have to do with our devil fruit?" Bakura demanded, and annoyed scowl on his face.

Smoker shook his head and rolled his eyes. "You guys are first class idiots. The devil fruit means that you sink like rock in water. Water; seawater in particular, takes away your powers. Same with sea stone. That's what your hand cuffs and the bars of this cage are made of."

Bakura scowled. "Well that sucks." He sighed as he shifted slightly, allowing part of his back to face Malik. "Malik, I'll completely and totally exonerate you from any charges I am holding against you if you pull my lock picks out of my back pocket."

Malik smirked as he maneuvered his hand to the man's pocket. "Only if you break me out too."

"Sure, whatever. Just give me the damn picks." Malik stuck his hand down into the pocket and Bakura glared at him as he tried to wriggle away. "Stop grabbing my ass you fag and focus."

Malik shot a sharp glare at him as he stopped shuffling his hand around. "I'm not a fag and I'm trying not to grab your ass. It's cause you wear these damn skinny jeans. I'm surprised you haven't died of heat stroke yet." He retorted scathingly as he pulled a skinny packet from the recesses of the pocket. "These them?"

Bakura nodded as he snatched the packet with his cuffed hands and flipped it open awkwardly using his mouth. He looked over the lock quickly before deftly pulling out a set of golden picks with his elegant fingers. "These should work." He murmured as he stuck the picks between his lips and leaned over the lock.

Nami watched with interest as he maneuvered his tongue and mouth to move the picks on the interior of the lock. Suddenly, it clicked open and the cuffs fell into the water with a dull splash. "Do you think you could open the cage for us?" She asked sweetly as she sauntered towards the slumlords.

Bakura spat the picks into his hands and replaced them in the packet, before pulling out a set with rubies on the end for the larger lock latched to the chains. This time, he was able to use his hands to work with the lock. "I could." He replied shortly, before he began the arduous task of unlocking himself from the chains.

The lock slickly popped open and Malik smiled endearingly as Bakura shoved the chains off of himself. "Hey partner, the water's getting pretty high." He squirmed uncomfortably. His lavender eyes drifted over to the large creature turning around and they widened. "And the Bananawani is looking at me hungrily. Do you think you could make this quick?"

Bakura grunted noncommittally as he set to work on the chains first. They quickly snapped open and he grabbed the set of golden picks for the interior of the handcuff's lock as Malik shook the chains off of himself and stood awkwardly. The handcuffs took longer to pick because of Malik's nervous shifting, but he got those off in record time as well. Malik grinned broadly as a golden eye glowed on his forehead, before sparing a glance at the now mind washed Bananawani. "Stupid banana. Trying to eat me." He snorted indignantly. "Pathetic creature."

Nami reached out and slip the picks from Bakura's tan fingers, but he foiled her vain attempts as he turned around to glare at her and slipped the picks back into his tight pocket. "Stop that."

She sunk back and twiddled her fingers. "Can you please let us out?" She begged.

"Yeah! Let us out please! We won't tell anyone that you got caught by Crocodile!" Usopp said as he ran over to the cage bars desperately.

Luffy followed him. "Please! Please, please, please!" He begged pathetically. "The water's getting really high, and we need to save the country!"

Malik snorted, and Bakura glared at the pirate. Nami slammed her hand over Luffy's mouth, recognizing his mistake. "He didn't mean save the country! He meant…he meant _leave_ the country! That's right! _Leave_ the country. That's what we want to do." She corrected quickly with a honeyed smile.

Malik closed his eye and the golden eye began to glow on his forehead. Nami's eyes went blank as he nodded. "Just as I suspected." He turned to Bakura, a smirk of amusement on his face. "In her mind, her true intentions are revealed. She and these _pirates_ are friends with _Princess_ Vivi. They want to help her stop the oncoming war." The eye on his forehead disappeared and Nami blinked in confusion as she looked around. The blond waded over to a limp purple cloth and slipped it over his head. "Damnit. My shirt's wet." He moaned as he tried to wring the water from it.

"What just happened? It feels like someone poured cement into my head…" Nami groaned as she dropped to her knees, clutching her head.

"Quiet, brat. And no, I'm not going to pick the lock for you guys." He glanced down at the water, which was splashing against his skinny calfs. "Hmm. Let's see. I'm six foot three and the water's hitting me mid-calf. You're…" He tilted his head to the side as he appraised her mentally, "You're look about five foot nine right now, but then again you are most likely wearing heels like a lot of strippers do. So that means at the rate the water is rising," The water had risen short of an inch while he was talking, "You, yourself, will be drowned in about ten minutes. Others may survive longer or shorter depending on their height." He glanced over at the stupefied Bananawani. "If you don't get eaten first."

"Akefia. Stop taunting the prisoners and let's go. I can feel my powers slipping away from this damned water." Marik snarled as he readied to jump onto the stairs.

Bakura sneered as the man hopped onto the broken steps with ease. "Someone's pissy." He muttered, before following him onto the higher ground. He gave the dismayed crew and Marine a pert salute. "Don't worry. Maybe someone will save you." He slid the sturdy lock picks back into his back pocket. "Ta." Marik made a big show of releasing the Bananawani from his influence as it snarled and shied away from the duo.

* * *

The two walked up the stairs and down the hall, ignoring the desperate pleas of the cage's occupants. "So how do we want to punish Crocodile for his traitorous betrayal?" Bakura asked lazily, glancing at the enraged man storming alongside of him.

Marik's lip curled distastefully. "Mind controlling wouldn't satisfy me. I want to poison him, but that would take too long to make the poison I have in mind. You stealing his soul would be too merciful. We could stab him and strangle him, but then when would we have time to do it before he leaves to influence the rebellion?"

Bakura shrugged. "We could just leave him alive for now." Marik looked down at him incredulously. "We would kill him when everything seems like it's going perfectly. The fall is so much harder when you have more to lose." He explained quickly. "Just a thought though. And if we did it that way, we could publically humiliate him as well."

Marik nodded, a predatory grin spreading across his face. "You're right. That is actually a good idea Akefia. A very good idea." An insane giggle of excitement escaped from his lips before he opened the large double doors leading to the front of the casino.

All eyes turned to them as they walked down the stairs calmly, their poise radiating power and wealth. Several people looked away quickly to avoid their faces being recognized, while the rest gawked like cattle at the wet states of their lords. Bakura glanced around, a dissatisfied scowl pulling at the corners of his mouth. "How the hell can these people be here gambling their money away when the country is preparing for a full out civil war? Families will be slaughtered in milliseconds. Sisters, brothers, uncles, grandmothers, fathers, babies; none will be spared by the rebellion. Yet these people insist on feeding Crocodile more." He hissed angrily beneath his breath.

A lazy smirk slid across Marik's face. "Each time I believe that you are something like Seth reincarnate, I look back on moments like these to prove myself wrong. You know the nature of people. As long as the rich get richer and the poor get poorer, everything will remain the same. That is what Malik and I are trying to change. We want to turn the world topsy turvey, and they _will_ like it. Or they will die."

Bakura crossed his arms defensively. "I don't care about what you and Malik do to this world. I will gladly stand beside you if it allows me to rob the world of all of its riches." He scowled. "It is merely how distasteful all of it is. When the two of you conquer the known world, it won't be through lies and deceit. It will be through power and cunning alone." His scowl faded. "And of course a pretty load of belli."

Marik nodded before shrugging. "You're right of course. As always. We'll be needing to dip deep into your funds to tip the scales in our favor." He shoved through a crowd of oblivious tourists, ignoring their cries of rage. "But most of it will be done through destruction. A few things cannot be destroyed to bring to our side, sometimes, some things can only be bought with money." He grinned, his pearly teeth a stark contrast to the caramel tone of his skin. "We are going to flip the ship that these people call their government."

"Stop smiling. It's creepy." Bakura deadpanned as he kicked the door to outside open. His grey eyes flickered back to the casino curiously as they stepped into the smoldering heat. "I've never seen a pirate before. Not a Shichibukai, like Crocodile, but an actual pirate." He paused for a moment, seeming to be embarrassed by his curiosity. "W-What were their minds like? What were they thinking?"

The blond smirked as he walked across the bridge confidently. "This is stupid, even for you, Akefia." He ignored the man's protests as he sifted through Malik's memories. "They had a strangely strong sense of morals." He paused, as Bakura quieted. "Even the girl, a thief who practically lives for money, was willing to risk her life and belli for _Princess _Vivi, the girl they met only a few weeks ago. The kid, Luffy, he wants to be Pirate King." A chuckled of amusement escaped his lips. "Stubborn little cockroach. Crocodile was supposed to have already killed him. He won't die. He wants to save Vivi and the country."

Bakura's lips twitched with a semblance of a smile. "That brat thinks he can do it?"

Marik shrugged. "Yeah. Don't know anything about the Commander and the other two pirates. Malik didn't feel like wasting his powers on those dipshits." A frown creased the man's forehead as he twirled a free lock of hair between his fingers. "For some reason…" He paused before laughing. "Nah, nevermind. It's stupid"

His partner's interest was perked. Marik always completed his thoughts. He was an overly outspoken mind. "What? Nevermind what?" He growled impatiently as he kicked a homeless person out of his path, secretly wishing for the sweeper to return.

Marik's frown reappeared. "For some reason, I actually believe him. I think that kid can do it. That kid may be able to stop this war." He murmured as he tugged on the blond snarl in a distracted manner.

Bakura frowned as well. Marik's intuition was never wrong; it had saved them several instances to name. He may have been insane, but on the occasions he got a gut instinct, it was best to listen. "Why do you believe him?"

His fellow twenty-two year old shrugged. "Something about that kid is different. He has something that he's fighting for with all of his mind and body. And he's stubborn as a camel to boot."

They walked in silence for a long moment, each to his own thoughts. "What do you think we should do?" Marik asked hesitantly. This was where Bakura excelled. Bakura was a brilliant strategist; when he had the hard facts, he was able to create perfect plans and execute them flawlessly.

Bakura stopped and pulled him through the hidden door to their trashy home, carefully avoiding the precautionary traps. He locked the rotting wood door, before grabbing the blond by his shoulders and looking him straight in the eyes. "Marik. Would you trust this pirate with your life?" He asked, voice serious.

Marik nodded instantly, not even thinking about it. "Yes I do, Bakura. I trust him with all three of our lives."

Bakura released his shoulders and sighed, rubbing his temples. "By the gods, Marik. Just when I think another adventure couldn't… wouldn't pop up." He moaned exasperatedly. His smoky eyes flitted up to the amused ones of his companion. "Well what are you waiting for?"

Marik stalled blankly, at a loss of words. _What the hell is he talking about?_

The white haired man rolled his eyes mockingly as he reached up to wrap an arm around Marik's broad shoulders. "Come one. We have a lot of packing to do."

The blond dug his bare feet into the moldy ground stubbornly. "Akefia, what is the meaning of this?" He snarled irately.

Bakura smiled toothily as he let his arms fly into the air dramatically. "Marik, Malik…" He paused, his grin widening, "we are leaving Arabasta with those pirates."

Marik glared at him. "That's your awe-inspiring plot? Go with some pirates we don't know after we've spent years of our regrettably short lives building our illustrious careers as slumlords?" He deadpanned.

Bakura's grin shifted into a smirk as he shook his head, as if talking to a young child. "Marik, you are not looking at the big picture." He waved to the dimly dump surrounding them with one arm, wagging a finger in reprimand at Marik with his other. "Marik, we won't get anywhere by staying in Arabasta. You said it yourself; the brat wants to be Pirate King. We hitch a ride with him, our influence and fame spreads throughout the Grand Line. And when that's done… well the world will be our oyster. We will be more famous and influential than Pirate King Gol D. Roger." He cracked his knuckles as his eyes gained a far away look. "Marik, don't you see? We're only demigods, right now. We have so many opportunities to become gods if we play our cards correctly! We can get our own ship soon after this; we can travel the world on our own accord; Marik, we would be the most powerful bastards that this world has ever beheld."

Marik nodded slowly, turning the possibilities over in his head. "You are right, Bakura. If we don't make our move soon, the world will try to move on without us." A wolfish grin replaced the frown on his lips. "And we can't have that, can we?"

Bakura stretched to the top shelf in the dingy room, grabbing a box full of gold. "No we can't. Here's all of your jewelry." He dropped the box unceremoniously on the floor, before rummaging blindly on the shelf once again. "We're going to evacuate the premises tomorrow during the war. No one will bother looking for us or care if they see us. They'll just think we're killing the warriors who are hurting our people. We use several of your mind slaves to get our possessions to the pirates' ship. Then we wait." He pulled down another box, and snarled at its contents. "Here's all of the stuff from that Pluton tomb that you used to live in." He dropped the box on the floor, and Marik glared at it as well. "We need to get in contact with Kohza. We're leaving the slums in his hands. What he does with it, I don't care. I'm sending you to persuade him. I'll get all of my paper work and contacts wrapped up at the office. We're leaving him the secrets of everyone and arrangements, because we won't have need for them. Tell him that he's allowed to have the office and anything that we can't bring onto the ship."

Marik nodded moodily as he turned to leave. "Fine, but don't expect us to play your messenger for anything else, Akefia." He growled.

Bakura flashed him a degrading smirk. "Why ever would you think that I'd do something like that, Marik?"

The blond growled, before storming out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

The slumlord merely laughed quietly to himself as he locked the door behind Marik, before pulling down another box. Marik was fun to mock. He always took everything so seriously. His lips twitched with annoyance as he let yet another box fall to the ground. Where was the damned thing? His stormy eyes alit as his lithe fingers brushed against a cool piece of metal. He stood on his tiptoes as he grabbed at the item, irritation temporarily forgotten. Finally, his fingers found purchase on the metal and he pulled it down from the near unreachable shelf. The familiar gold glinted hungrily as he looped the leather strap over his head. The golden ring took its rightful spot at the center of his chest. The ring that belonged to a set which King Cobra had attempted to give as payment to his nomadic family to leave the land. There were six other items; one of which Marik had in his possession and three others scattered throughout the Grand Line. They all rightfully belonged to him. He was the only heir to the nomads who had taken the bribe. He was the only heir to the nomads who had been brutally slaughtered after they had agreed to leave. The Millennium Items were his.

He shook the thoughts from his head as a golden ball, overbalanced by the ring moving, dropped to the ground with a heavy clunk. He grinned savagely as he picked it up and gave it a quick spit shine. The Millenium Eye was the second item he had attained, from a pompous tourist by the name of Pegasus. How the man had screamed when the eye was forcibly removed from his head, and not only a moment later his soul stolen. Bakura slipped it into his pocket and whistled a spritely tune as he sauntered over to the door and unlocked it, sliding into the cool dusk air. He locked the door behind him before going back onto the main road, avoiding the traps with practiced ease.

Any intruder trying to get into the small complex would be unpleasantly surprised after the first foot into the alleyway. Marik, Malik and him had set up a system of traps created to obliterate even the most cunning of thieves. Closest to the main road was the cleverly disguised trip wire. Arrows with a poison of Malik's own design would shoot from the walls, itching to impale anyone attempting to pass by. If someone managed to get past that, there was a pit with deadly poisoned spike in it, positioned in front of the door. It was disguised by the dirt and slime that was commonly found in Arabasta alleys. The only way to bypass it was to skirt the edges of the walls and not to make a false step. The poisons Marik and Malik used were created to kill a person twenty minutes after being poisoned, and they would experience excruciating pain until they were dealt into death's clammy clutches. They were the only one who had the antidotes to the poisons they used, creating many problems for potential thieves and murders. The last was a trap of Bakura's own design. He was immensely proud of it, as it was placed invisibly over the door. Anyone that did not have his ability to steal souls or did not have a slip of paper created by Bakura, which allowed them to bypass the shield, had their soul sucked out of them the instant they touched the moldy door. Malik made sure that he always carried the slip with him. To date, he had forgotten about the shield ten times and experienced the unpleasant sensation of having his soul removed, and later, much to the annoyance of Bakura, replaced. The final touch to their series of traps, were the slumlords themselves. They had not been appointed the title by sitting around and looking fierce. Bakura was the best thief and knife fighter in the country, and Malik had the strength of ten men and a limitless knowledge of poisons and medicine. Together, they had brought down a Shichibukai, as well as thousands of soldiers sent by King Cobra. Their name was never spoken lightly; only as a damnation to those around them. Their reputation preceded that of Crocodile's and King Cobra's, protecting them from any intruders. Together, the two were near invincible.

Bakura walked down the street, looking blankly ahead. It wouldn't do his reputation good for his people to see him nearly giggling with excitement. Normal slumlords did not giggle. The man let out a quiet sigh. Slumlord Malik did. He giggled when he was happy. He giggled when he was sad. He giggled when he was maniacal. He was not a normal slumlord. If the people saw Bakura behaving like the blond did, they may have heart attacks. He shouldered his way through the door leading to their posh office complex. Their home was a far cry from the grandeur of the office. The floors were the purest white marble found in Arabasta with veins of gold bleeding through them. Jewels such as rubies, diamonds and garnets adorned every free space. The walls were trimmed with engraved gold, silver, and bronze. The bookshelves were made from the finest woods in the world and contained books worth millions of belli. The chairs were layered with red velvet. The two spare beds for the occasions that Bakura and Malik did spend the night at work were plush with silk covers. Bakura glanced down and gritted his teeth. They would be leaving this to live on a, most likely, puny ship. With pirates. Whom they wouldn't be ruling over. Perhaps his plan contained a few annoying flaws after all.

The blonde secretary ran over to him with a broad smile on her face, her old tennis shoes slapping loudly against the marble floor. "Mr. Bakura! We have great news! Crocodile has sent a shipment over to us. It includes several barrels of wine and water, and several crates containing what we believe to be food and money!" She gestured to a large pile of goods accenting a large portion of her grand office in the entrance hall. "Where would you like me to put it?"

Bakura frowned. Crocodile was not getting away with attempting bribe the slumlords into forgiveness. "Take the food out of the crates and leave it with the wine and water. Take the money, and surround Rain Dance with it. I want that money burned in thirty minutes tops." She paled as he stormed down the hallway. _Mr. Bakura just asked me to __**burn**__ his money! Crocodile must have done something big. Mr. Bakura always takes money._ She was snapped from her thoughts as Bakura paused at his office door. "No one comes in here but Malik." He turned his head to give her a smirk. "Miss Rebecca, a party in the office tonight. Use all of the food and wine that you want. You can even dip into our personal storage facilities. Go all out, as if this was a party before the apocalypse. Don't touch the Petrus though. I want everyone who lives in the slum to come here. Have bouncers block the already drunk people and for richies that try to crash here. Warn everyone that if they try to steal anything I will steal their souls. If the noise gets too loud, I will steal all of your souls. Understood?"

Rebecca gaped before nodding eagerly, her blond pigtails bouncing wildly up and down. "Of course, Mr. Bakura! Whatever you like!"

Bakura nodded as he opened his door. "If anyone gets too drunk and are causing a disturbance, kick them out. No rebel army and none of Cobra's army. This is for the people of the slum only." He closed the ornate door behind him.

Rebecca barely contained an exuberant squeal. She would not let her employer down. No one would want to do anything to lose Mr. Bakura trust. She ran down the hallway quickly, before knocking on a door as an after thought. Her face lost its soft touch. "Alright you maggots, get your slimy asses out of here and unload the crates in my office of food. Leave the money, bring it to Rain Dinners, and burn it within thirty minutes. Bakura's cursed it all, so if you try and steal a cent, your soul will be stolen." She hissed, before making to leave. "Oh yes. And get back soon. There's a party here tonight, starting at nine thirty." Curses and stumbles broke through as they ran to unload the food. She smirked. _Mr. Bakura sure knows how to keep us all in line. The last time we had a party, the whole city wanted to join. Of course Mr. Bakura banned the King's men. The entire city had a giant hangover the next morning, and everyone was about ten thousand belli poorer because of the admission few. If there's one thing about Mr. Bakura and Mr. Ishtar, it's that they sure as hell can throw a party._ She pulled out her baby den-den mushi to call in a few favors. She would not fail her employer.

* * *

Bakura sighed as he ran his finger through his fine hair. The paper work was taking forever. If the rebel leader actually believed that he would give him a stable source of revenue, he was to be sadly mistaken. The slumlord sighed as he finished recreating contract. So far he had finished eighty-six. He still had a hundred and thirteen left.

A sharp knock sounded on the door before Malik walked in, a happy grin on his face and a crystal wine glass in his hand. Bakura winced at the pounding bass that blasted into the room with Malik's appearance. "You never told me we were having a party tonight. I would've prepared more." The blond crinkled up his nose at the paperwork as stepped towards Bakura. "Yuck. What're you doing all of that for? We won't need a copy of those contracts where we're going."

Bakura pen scribbled ferociously as he scrambled to finish his self-appointed work. "I'm faking all of these contracts to give to the rebel leader. They'll all have fake secrets on them when I'm finished. I'm sure as hell not giving a person like Kohza all of our hard earned work and the slums' secrets. He'll have to find them out himself. Only one or two of these will be left with the true deals, and those'll be the deal with Crocodile and the deals with the Thieves' Guild. He'll probably just throw them out anyways after he gets annoyed at being laughed at by the people he thinks he has an upper hand on." He put the hastily scribbled sheet with the completed pile, and pulled another down to work on it with his nearly undetectable whiteout and chewed pen.

Malik shook his head at his partner's actions. "It's not like you really have to worry, 'Kura. No one can read your hand writing anyways, so I'm pretty sure that your secret is safe." He giggled at Bakura's irate glare and sat on the edge of the mahogany desk. "Oh lighten up. We're leaving tomorrow; you should join the party tonight. Everyone wants to thank you and praise you. But here you are, holed up in your room with a bunch of shitty paper work."

"Malik, I don't have the time for frivolities right now. How did the meeting go with Kohza?" He spread the whiteout across a line in the mess of a contract and scrawled quickly over the top of it with a strange sum.

Malik shrugged as he sipped the wine. "Marik didn't threaten to kill him. That was good. He told him about your offer, and after a moment Kohza accepted. He told him that we are leaving tomorrow morning at six, and that he has to come to steady the slums of all of the cities during the after mass. He also told him that if he wanted the slums to go to war with him, it was fine; but only after we had left. The final condition Marik set down was that he could not leave the slums alone without appointing a worthy successor."

Bakura nodded as he chewed on his lower lip. "Good, good. Marik and you always have been brilliant negotiators." He checked the clock and nodded. "Midnight. Good. That's when the most people will be here." He stood up and cracked his back leisurely. "Okay, Malik. It's time for our farewell speech. Get your mind-slaves to grab everything but seven-hundred million belli worth of items and money. Tell them to bring it to the main hall, and set it down behind us."

Malik nodded as the golden eye flashed briefly on his forehead. "They got it, and they'll be in the hall in three minutes."

Bakura licked his lips as he opened the door. "Perfect. Make sure that your little sidewalk sweep is here. He should receive a large award."

Malik grinned as the eye flashed once again. "He's here. Drink in one hand and pretty lady in the other. He's gonna grow up to be a smart boy." He cast sly eyes at Bakura. "Growing up like you, eh, 'Kura?"

The slumlord nodded wearily as they stood at the doors leading to the main hall. "Took him long enough. I know that you know. I know that his mother knows. But don't go spreading it around. It was embarrassing enough to have that little wimp properly identified as my son the first time. And I had to give his slut of a mother so much money to keep her mouth shut." His grey eyes flickered to Malik. "But enough of the past. You ready, Malik? This is goodbye to our old lives, and hello to the new."

The blond smirked as he kicked the heavy double doors open. "Am I ever prepared?"

The dancers and drunkards instantly cleared a path for the two slumlords on sight. Bakura forged ahead, shoving everyone out of his way as he made his way to the food-laden table. He shoved the roasted pig out of the way, before standing on the table to face the over crowded room. Already, many were becoming silent at the sight of the man. He cleared his throat as he cupped his hands around his mouth. "Shut up, you bastards, before I steal your souls!" He growled loudly, before swiping a man's wine glass from his hand.

A few nervous chuckles rang throughout the audience. There wasn't a single person in the slum who didn't know about the time that the crowd decided to test Bakura's threat of stealing all of their souls. They realized he was serious when he had their soulless bodies transferred to the middle of the desert and left for the vultures. They had never gotten their souls, or their flesh, back. After a few seconds, complete silence reigned.

Bakura grimaced before taking a sip of the wine. "Perfect. Now, as you all can see, tonight we've decided to go all out on this party. No one was forced to pay to enter, and we've kept the war out of our hall. Tonight is a night for drinking, and food." He ran nervous fingers through his hair. "I've never been good at making speeches. Normally I kill everyone before that problem arises, or let Malik take care of it." A few people snickered in agreement. "But tonight I've decided to take the initiative." He cleared his throat as he lift up the wine glass. "Tomorrow, Malik and I are forfeiting our positions as slumlords to go out to sea. You will most likely never see either of again, except for in the government's little newspaper as they screech about how much they want us dead." The hall had reached an awkward silence. The crowd was looking from Bakura to Malik in shocked disbelief. "We have selected a successor. The rebel leader Kohza, although some of his ideas may be skewed, will be the new slumlord. He is not allowed to recruit you into the battle for tomorrow. Tonight, though, we are going to drink our troubles away, and say our goodbye to our loyal subjects." He motioned to the gold bearing mind-slaves now standing behind him. "We shall be giving out cash rewards for those we think deserve them." The crowd cheered as Bakura held a hand out to Malik. "C'mon, Malik. You are the award boy. Make sure to include Rebecca. She was good. But don't hand out too much money." He murmured as he helped the blond onto the table.

Malik grinned at the excited crowd before him. "Hey guys." He took a sip of his wine. "I will be giving out several cash awards to those that we believe deserve them." He crossed his arms. "First, I'd like our loyal secretary, Miss Rebecca Hawkins to come up and collect her reward."

A respectful clapping ensued as the secretary stumbled towards the table, a stunned look in her eyes. "M-me?" She stammered, her green eyes bright with confusion.

Malik smirked as he put down his wine glass and held a large crate full of gold in two hands. "Yes, Miss Hawkins, it's you." He spoke louder so the whole crowd could hear. "Miss Hawkins has been an amazing and wonderful secretary. Always holding a special place in our hearts, she managed to keep everything running smoothly and keep you lot in line, even though she is only eight years old." A small chuckle trickled through the crowd. "If someone will help Miss Hawkins with her gold? This is too heavy for the young lady." Several men came over and took the crate from Malik, standing respectfully beside the teary eyed girl.

The blond picked up his wine glass and sipped from it elegantly. "Now, our second award for tonight goes to my best student. This man is one of the persuasive and deceitful people I know. And that was before I trained him. Now, he is amazing with medicines, but his interests lie with mine in poisons. The man you do not want to piss off, Mr. Ryuji Otogi!"

There was a loud yell of approval from the corner of the room as the crowd parted to let a handsome black-haired man run up to collect his prize. Malik dumped the heavy box unceremoniously in the man's arms. Ryuji winced as he shuffled away from the table, trying to hold the weighty crate.

"Our third award goes to the woman who has managed to have the most men moan her name, our favorite and best whore in the business, Miss Mai Kujaku!"

A blonde sauntered through the crowd, her chest barely contained in a tight corset. "Why thank you hun." She purred as she stepped up to the table. She pointed to a blond boy. "Hey Joey. Help me with the gold, will ya?"

"Tch. Bossy bitch." The boy muttered as he took the gold from Malik. Mai hit him on the back of the head lightly. "Oh. You know I was kidding, baby." He moaned as they stepped back into the crowd.

Malik let out a giggle at their actions, before turning his attention back to the murmuring crowd. "Our final award for tonight goes to the young boy who tirelessly worked for free. This award goes to albino by the name of Ryou Yamora!"

The crowds parted as the sweeper stumbled forwards, a dazed look in his eyes. "F-For me?" He stammered as he reached the table.

Bakura kicked two boxes of gold to the ground beside the boy. "One's your payment for working for us, and the other is your reward." He grabbed the boy's hand and pulled him close, as he slipped a sheet of paper between his pale fingers. "Keep the paper. It keeps your soul from being stolen when you touch the boxes. Just put it in your shirt or something. I know someone's going to try and mug you." He whispered, before letting go of his hand and straightening. Malik motioned for two of the mind slaves. "Help him with the boxes." The mind-slaves hefted the boxes easily, remaining unaffected by the boxes' defense because the slips of paper they always carried.

Malik smirked at the crowd, who kept on glancing from the slumlords to the remaining gold. "Finally, we are getting rid of this gold. Our as you leave the party, our assistants will be divvying up the gold. Everyone gets an equal share, even the award winners." He grinned. "It was nice growing up with all you guys. I see so many familiar faces out here, and it makes me almost regret leaving you. But as it is, have a nice night, and try not to die. It would be a waste after all of the gold we've given you." Malik raised his glass, and Bakura followed his lead. "A toast."

Those in the crowd with glasses followed their examples. Those without merely removed their hats and raised their hands up.

Malik nodded to Bakura, and the white haired man cleared his throat. "A toast to the slums. May they continue to prosper and let their ooze rot the city and damn the war."

Laughs erupted as people clinked their glasses together merrily. The two stepped down from the table and voices rose as the crowd turned inwards and began to talk in excited tones amongst themselves.

Bakura and Malik glanced at each other, before Bakura raised his glass at his partner. "A toast. May we prosper and live forever in the darkest parts of man's heart." Malik giggled as the glasses tapped each other, and he downed its contents in an easy gulp. He wiped his mouth on the sleeve of his shirt, much to the reproach of Bakura. "I'm gonna go talk to everyone. They won't see us tomorrow, because we're leaving at six in the morning." He cast sly eyes to Bakura. "You know, you could've given out all of our money here. You didn't have to save seven hundred million belli for us. We have reserves at our other bases of operations."

Bakura smirked as he pulled out a mini den-den mushi from his pocket to show to Malik. "That's where you're wrong, Malik. I already called everyone before I started paperwork. Every city in this country is having a party off of our money. Our little city slumlords are only keeping their cut. Everything else is rigged to be destroyed by my souls if it doesn't leave the offices by six this morning."

Malik shook his head at the cunning of his partner. "You are truly evil, Bakura. They won't be able to call them the slums any more. After what we're doing for them, the richies will look poor compared to these whores and dumb bastards." He sent a sidelong glance. "You've done this just to inconvenience Kohza. It's harder to control people when you don't have a leash of money and power. These people were desperate and looked up to us. Kohza won't get any respect from our subjects." He giggled. "And Marik says that you aren't Seth incarnate."

The white-haired man shrugged and mussed Malik's hair in a brotherly fashion. "You get to the party and send my regards. I have to finish revamping the contracts." He walked out the door, ignoring the protests of his subjects. He had work to do. After all, he couldn't start their new lives as paupers, now could he?

* * *

So what do you think? It will probably take a few weeks for me to update the next chapter, because I want them to be nice and long. Please review. PLEASE! I'm sorry if there seems to be a little bit of different styles of writing throughout the sections of the chapter. I wrote different parts at different times, while I was in different moods.


	2. A Progression in the Plot

Here it is, boys and girls; Chapter Two! The slumlords are finally getting off their lazy asses and moving from Rainbase! Wooh! Anyways, I know they are OC. They are slumlords, of course they're going to be different than when they are on the Yugioh show. And I'm sorry if I don't give all of the Strawhat Crew justice. It's hard writing scenes with more than three people. Even three is pushing it for me.

Once again, I don't own One Piece or Yugioh. This is rated M for language and potential violence and gore. Now, on with the show!

* * *

Bakura rubbed the crustiness from his heavy eyes before glancing out the extensive window overlooking the sprawling mass of city. The sun was just barely peaking above the sand dunes. His sleepy grey orbs flitted to the messy pile of papers that he had been using as a pillow. They were finally completed. He let out a small sigh of relief as he wiped his cheek, noting the small patches of ink that stuck to his fingers with the action. An annoyed grumble escaped his lips as he stumbled out of his chair to the window, searching for the inkling of a reflection. When he managed to focus his bleary eyes on his twin in glass, he licked his fingers and wiped away the remainder of the ink from his cheek. Part of the job of being a slumlord was appearing strong. Strong people did not fall asleep on their paper work and get wet ink all over their faces; that was what slackers did. He quickly stacked the papers in a less sloppy manner, before shoving them into a drawer in the desk. "There we go. The secrets of the slums are now safe." He murmured proudly to himself.

He covered a yawn with a large tan hand as he staggered to the door, slamming it open as an outlet of his annoyance. "Miss Rebecca? Can you kindly tell the drunken fools blocking the exit of my office that they need to get their asses into gear and leave?" He called loudly as the door jammed, smothered by the snoring bodies laying haphazardly about the hallway. No one answered. "Miss Hawkins?" He tried again before he gave a discreet yawn.

Malik's bed-head hair poked out from behind his ornate office door. "'Kura, stop yelling. Miss Rebecca isn't here. She's probably sleeping off the party at her Grandpa's house." He yawned as he lurched over to Bakura's office. "Ready to go?" He sluggishly kicked the bodies blocking Bakura's door aside, effectively clearing the way.

Bakura smiled wanly. "Yeah. We just need your mind slaves to come with us to carry everything. I don't fancy carrying ten crates of jewels and cash as well as two barrels of our finest wine, some food, and a few irreplaceable books."

Malik nodded as the golden eye on his forehead flashed brightly. "They're getting everything that we laid out for them from the vaults right now. They'll meet us out at the east side of town when they're finished." He murmured as the eye vanished. The slumlords began to walk down the halls in silence, observing their domain for the last time, and carefully stepping around the sleeping subordinates on the smooth marbled floors. Malik sighed lightly, glancing longingly at a stark white room as they slowly wandered by. The room contained a few tables holding flasks and beakers with multi colored liquids in them and many containers full of herbs and other plants. The sturdy shelves were stocked with all of the equipment that he could possibly need for experimentation. It was impossible for him to take all of his poison making equipment with him. He had stuffed his cloak with as many dried plants and vials of versatile poisons that he could carry, but it did not make him feel any better to be leaving his precious lab behind. As Malik was mourning, Bakura looked at the shelves lining the majority of the rooms with barely suppressed longing. The books were worth millions, and irreplaceable. Each one was the original manuscript of the story it told, challenged solely by the late library on the obliterated country of Ohara. No one but Bakura, Malik, and Rebecca were allowed to touch the books, the punishment being a fate worse than death. Yet here he was, leaving the extensive collection to some country hick who would most likely burn them as firewood. He twitched slightly at the thought. His only consolation laid in his loophole that he had lay down for Rebecca the previous evening.

Malik leaned his head against Bakura's shoulder, the events of the night taking their toll on him. Bakura ignored it, lost in his own thoughts and plans.

"Hey 'Kura. How do you think we're gonna get on their ship? We didn't leave in the best of terms last time we met." The blond mumbled as he snuck the rare opportunity to toy with Bakura's silky hair. The man had always loved his hair, nearly bordering on obsession. Nothing but salon grade items were allowed within a ten-foot radius of the pale locks, and nothing was allowed to touch them besides his golden jeweled hair-brush and his own hands. The stress of leaving the slums was obvious; Bakura hadn't even taken one of his standard hour-long showers this morning.

Bakura rubbed his eyes sleepily as he glanced at Malik. "How else? We're going bribe our way on. Besides the seven hundred million belli we're taking with us, we have you; the poisons expert, and me; the thievery and plotting expert. And if that's not enough, we have our devil fruit powers. No one's going to be kicking _us_ off. We're going, whether they're willing or not."

Malik sighed and nodded. "I suppose." He murmured wearily as they entered the entry hall.

Both took a moment to stop and look at the grandeur they were leaving behind. And both began to have after thoughts.

The white-haired slumlord gulped dryly. "You ready to leave?" He whispered hoarsely, unable to remove his eyes from the bookshelves.

The blond slumlord remained silent, but finally loosed an anguished sigh. "As ready as I'll ever be." He straightened slightly as he tugged on Bakura's shoulder lightly. "C'mon, 'Kura. If we don't leave now, you know as well as I that we won't ever leave."

Bakura nodded numbly, before turning his back on his previous life. "You're right. Let's get out of here before I change my mind." He muttered gruffly as he opened the double doors leading to the street. He blinked at the sudden change of light, and Malik clapped him companionably on the back.

"Come on, you little vampire. It's just a bit of sun." The blond teased him sarcastically as he pulled him by the arm out into the near empty streets. "We have to go! I don't want my slaves getting fat after waiting for you."

Bakura snarled silently as he pulled his arm away and stormed moodily behind Malik. Every conscious person that they passed bowed deeply and mumbled their blessings to the two. One madly blushing woman even stopped them and gave them each a chaste kiss on the lips before running back into the alley complexes. A poor priest, whom they both knew was a sinful gambler in his free time, stopped them both to bless them with holy water. A grubby little girl shoved a bunch of wilting flowers in Bakura's hands before running to hide behind the skirts of her mother. Each slut they passed made sure to give them both a kiss and a teary hug before returning to their street corners for business. A little boy and a teenage girl performed a duet, the girl on the fiddle and the boy dancing. Anyone who had lived or been associated with the slums gave their lords the best goodbyes they could muster as the duo took their last stroll down the main street.

Malik smiled sadly as he watched another child give Bakura a small gift. He knew that the people were wary of him. They most likely thought that he was bipolar combined with the fact that he could read and control each and every thought they had, created a deadly equilibrium between fear and hatred. Even knowing this, it hurt slightly to see his partner get most of the thanks. Long tan fingers tugged on his golden locks, pulling Malik from his melancholy daze. "Malik. It's your sister." Bakura growled lowly as he tilted his head towards the black haired woman standing silently in the middle of the street.

The woman bowed deeply to both of them, before settling her midnight blue eyes on Malik. "My brother." She murmured respectfully as she took a step closer.

The slumlord remained silent, waiting to hear what she had to say.

"You are leaving." She stated simply, before stepping forwards and laying her cool fingers on Malik's forehead. She closed her eyes and took a steady breath. "The Strawhats will accept you on. But you will soon break off from them and find your own ship. Bakura shall remain with you. You will save a kingdom, as well as the life of a young girl. But be wary, for your great power shall bring many great enemies. Do not become overconfident, my brother." She foresaw, before stepping away, eyes dazed. "That is all that I have seen."

Malik nodded curtly. "Thank you, sister. I had thought…" He trailed off, not sure how to phrase his past concerns.

Her smile was melancholy as she firmly grasped Malik's broad shoulders. "Malik, I have always loved you. I may not agree with your decisions, or your choice in partners, but I have always wanted you to be happy. And I understand now that you would never be able to achieve that being tied down to our family name." Her eyes fell slightly, as she rubbed a thumb soothingly across her brother's cheek. "Malik… Rishid is-,"

The blond interrupted numbly. "Yes, I know, Ishizu. Rishid…" He took a steadying breath, trying to calm the quiver in his voice. "Rishid is dead. I heard that he died not two months ago in an apartment fire." He closed his eyes slowly. "I know."

Ishizu blinked guardedly as she stepped back, removing her hands. "Thank you for seeing me, Malik. It… well it means a lot to me." She whispered falteringly.

A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth. "Ishizu, I could never not say good bye to my only sister." He stepped forwards and embraced her firmly.

She wrapped her hands slowly around his back, tears rolling silently from her eyes. "I will miss you, my brother. I will make sure that all of your controversial deeds are recorded in the history of our people." She murmured, forcing even more tears from her eyes. Malik was the first to slowly pull away, leaving Ishizu to wipe her streaming eyes roughly. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Look where that got me." She gave a watery laugh, before sniffing loudly.

"I always told you that you shouldn't wear that much make up. It runs when it gets wet." Malik teased playfully.

Ishizu gave his arm a lighthearted shove as she blinked away a few of the tears. "It normally isn't a problem. It's your fault that I'm crying." She accused wanly, crossing her arms. She glanced at Bakura, before cautiously reaching up to her neck. "Akefia." She called quietly.

Bakura started, jolted from his thoughts. "Yes, Ishizu?" He figured that he should be semi-polite; after all, he would never be seeing her again.

She unclasped a thick golden necklace from her thin neck, before walking to him and reaching up, clasping it around his own. "This belongs to you. In the memory of your people."

The slumlord's grey eyes widened in shock as his finger stroked the gold inquisitively. "The Millennium Tauk." He murmured in shock. His eyes slipped to Ishizu's, and he bowed low. "Thank you, Ishizu. I will treasure it always, and never forget the kindness that has been shown to me on this day. You have the enmity of slumlord Bakura."

Ishizu laughed softly at his hunched over form. "We all know you are just sucking up. You don't have to grasp so desperately for straws."

Bakura grinned up at her, persistently remaining in his deep bow. "Damn. I thought this one was pretty convincing too." He pouted mischievously before straightening out and popping his neck. "Thank you anyways, though. It really does mean a lot to me."

She nodded. "I figure you deserve it. After all, you've had to deal with Marik for how many years now? Six?" The woman joked weakly.

"Hey!" Malik exclaimed indignantly as he looped an arm around Bakura's neck. "I'm not that bad. I just know how to have fun!"

Bakura pulled away and glared at him. "Well, you need to move you fun loving ass faster and say your goodbye's. I have a boat scheduled to pick us up in at seven fifteen, so we need to get moving." He muttered gruffly.

Ishizu nodded, ignoring Malik's downcast face. "He's right, Malik. I don't want to put your lives on hold. I just wanted to say goodbye." Her façade of composure was destroyed as a tear trailed down her cheek. "It's time for you to go." She shooed softly.

Malik nodded and gave her a final hug. "I'll miss you, sister. And I promise you that I will return home; if only to see you." He whispered, before pulling away.

Ishizu wiped a rubbed a tear from her eye as she stepped back to allow them to pass. "And I, the same. Remember, brother. You will always be welcomed in our ancestral home, no matter how you choose to live your life and the number of people you kill."

Malik smiled sadly as Bakura pulled him past his sister. "Goodbye, Ishizu." He mumbled, before following the white haired man down the street.

Ishizu clasped her hands over her heart as she watched their retreating forms. "Please keep my brother safe, Akefia. My brother's mind may no longer be the safe haven it once was." She begged quietly, before slowly continuing in the opposite direction.

Bakura pulled his friend into a headlock as the blond once again attempted to watch his sister leave. "Don't look back, Malik. You'll never be able to leave if you do. You know this as well as I." He explained logically.

Malik sighed as his head went limp in Bakura's muscular arm. "I know, I know. It's just so hard though. You may have had a few ties to Ryou and his slut of a mother, but that's all. We both know that you only expressed the slightest bit of interest in the well-being of our loyal subjects." He moaned depressively.

Bakura shook his head. "You're wrong; I don't have any ties to those two either. I paid my debt to Ryou and his mother last night. That was the last day I would ever lose time and money over those two." His eyes flickered to Malik's sullen form. "Besides, at least you have a family that cares about you. Not only did I have to pay that slut to fuck her, but I also had to pay a small fortune to keep her quiet about Ryou's blood father. It was a nightmare." He grimaced slightly, before a smirk stole across his face. "That's why I made up a form that exclusively states if anyone gets pregnant from having sexual intercourse with me, they have to keep quiet about my fatherhood and support the child on their own." He sighed, face downcast. "Needless to say, the number of woman willing to sleep with me dropped dramatically."

Malik rolled his eyes as he pried his head from Bakura's chokehold. "Do you ever _not_ use forms for anything?"

Bakura looked at him in shock, a false look of hurt crossing his face as he clutched his heart dramatically. "Why Malik! How could you ever suggest something as blasphemous as _not_ using a form or something?" He dropped the look and chuckled darkly. "No, I don't think I do ever make any arrangements without a form. Not anymore. I learned my lesson from you and that whore."

The other slumlord raised an eyebrow. "From me? Why what have I done to make you say such a hurtful thing?" He pouted as he crossed his arms childishly.

Bakura playfully shoved him in the arm. "You know exactly what, Mr. Multiple-Personality-Mind-Reading-and-Influencing-Childish-Beast." He retorted as he stuck his hands in his hoodie pocket. The white haired man glanced up at the sky. "Damn, I need some sugar." He whined.

"And you call me childish?" Malik asked sarcastically, before reaching into his cargo pants and pulling out a chocolate bar. "Here, you big baby. So you won't be whining as we go to Alubarna."

The man grinned brightly as he snatched the sugary delight from the other's fingers and quickly unwrapped it, finishing it off in greedy bites. He licked his fingers and smirked slightly. "Thank you ever so much, Malik. You have just saved my soul of the damned for yet another day." He rubbed his sticky fingers off carelessly on his trademark skinny jeans.

"Why does it suddenly feel like I'm the babysitter? It's no fun at all." Malik whined as he chanced running nimble fingers through Bakura's hair.

Bakura smacked the fingers away violently, coupling it with an irate glare. "Do not touch my hair. It is already greasy enough because I haven't had my shower for today, and I don't want your grubby fingers running through it and messing it up worse." He flipped it over to the shoulder opposite of Malik and snorted prissily. "And I know babysitting isn't funny. Welcome to my world; the world of keeping two blond brats in line."

"Tch." Malik scoffed as he dismissed the comment. "We aren't that bad. After all, how many times have we saved your ass? More than I can count."

"What, so you can't count to two? Pity." Bakura sneered as he shoved his hands back into his hoodie pocket.

"Ha-Ha. Very funny, Bakura." Malik snapped sarcastically. "For the record, I was the one who saved you from Crocodile, I was the one who saved you from the rebels, I was the one who saved you from the back alleys, I was the one! And don't you forget it."

"Saved me? I could've gotten out of all of those situations without you." They reached the edge of the city and he glanced around. "Huh. Looks pretty empty."

Malik nodded, lip still curled in dissatisfaction. "Yeah." The eye on his forehead glowed brightly, before disappearing. "Those simpletons are taking forever. Apparently they had trouble convincing a merchant to give up his horses. The idiotic foreigner didn't know who we were. Now he does. They should arrive here about…" He glanced to the right and nodded, "Now."

Bakura glanced to where the blond was looking and watched as thirteen black swathed humans slid out of the back-alleys of the city on heavily laden horses. The last man in the chain had two stallions tethered to his saddle. Neither Malik nor Bakura could repress the small smiles at the sight of the golden mare and black stallion. Those were horses from their own stables; the two horses that they had both raised from birth to adulthood. Bakura had to agree; even under Malik's mind control the mind-slaves were very good at deciphering and adhering to the little touches that would make their master the most pleased.

Malik cleared his throat after the men came to a halt before the two slumlords. "Well? Do you have everything?" He demanded sharply as he walked to the back of the troop to see his mare. Bakura followed his footsteps silently.

"Yes, Master Malik. We have brought everything that you had requested." The one in the front slid off of his horse and bowed to Malik's back. "We are forever at your service, Master."

Malik smirked as he untied the mare and easily slid onto her golden back. He leaned forwards and caressed its soft ears soothingly, murmuring whispers of affection to the horse.

Bakura snorted as he untied his own black stallion and quickly hopped on its bareback. It fidgeted slightly, sensing its master's need for speed. The white-haired man glanced at Malik from the corner of his eye as he inspected his clean-cut fingernails. "Hey Malik, we only have thirty-nine minutes to get to the river to catch the boat."

Malik looked at him suspiciously, before slowly nodding. "Yeah. And your point is? We aren't going to be late. Not with these." He combed his other hand's nimble fingers through the mare's silky mane.

Bakura gave a smug grin as he patted his black beast's side encouragingly. "It'll be close. And Ialu is feeling a bit antsy. Needs to burn of some spare energy. And since we already need to get there fast…"

Malik glanced down at his horse, still rubbing her ears. "Hm. I suppose Khepri is up for a trot." He insinuated slyly as he unwound his fingers from her mane.

Bakura sneered as he ran his fingers across the short hair between Ialu's eyes. "A trot? Are you saying that a race against this godly stallion is a trot?" He demanded incredulously.

The blond smirked. "If the boot fits, wear it." He merely waved off his partner's glare, before shifting slightly on the mare's bare back and pulling his hand from her ears. "Okay, on-your-mark-get-set-go!" He mumbled rapidly, before dodging around his mind-slaves in a reckless canter.

"That cheating fool." Bakura hissed before kicking Ialu into a full-blown run as well. "Come on, Ialu. It's time to remind Khepri and Malik why they never race us." He murmured as Ialu began to gain ground on the other slumlord.

Malik glanced back and his smirk fell. Bakura was catching up. Rather quickly. He sighed, knowing how the race was going to end but refusing to admit it aloud. "C'mon, Khepri. Show those pretty boys that you aren't to be toyed with." He murmured as he rubbed her side encouragingly. Ialu inched closer. The mind-slaves trailed submissively.

The twenty-minute race ended predictably, with Bakura giving Ialu kudos for winning. Malik, of course, denied that the event had ever occurred.

Bakura's eyebrow twitched in frustration. "What do you mean? You and I just finished our race not three minutes ago."

Malik sniffed and glanced back at his mind-slaves slyly. "We didn't have a race, did we, mind-slave?"

The leader shifted and slowly shook his head. "No, Master Malik. Master Bakura must be imagining things." He droned obediently.

The blond smirked smugly as he looked at Bakura once more. "Oh, will you look at that? It's fourteen versus one, 'Kura. We never had a race."

A grey eye twitched angrily as Bakura's hand swung around to lightly smack the back of Malik's head. "You liar, you can't ask them! They're under your control, of course they're going to say no!" He flicked Ialu into a trot with a growl. "I'm going ahead to see how long it is until the river. You stay with your mind-slaves to make sure they don't get jumped." Without waiting for a reply, he flicked the reins once more and Ialu shot forwards into the looming dunes.

Malik let out a disgusted sigh as he watched Bakura disappear into the distance. Now he was stuck alone with his shit-for-brains mind-slaves. Just great. _Bakura better get back soon._ His eyes flickered back to the dumbly silent humans dutifully trailing behind Khepri. They turned to zone in on the dust cloud in the distance, signaling the direction Bakura had cantered. _I wonder what Bakura wants to do with my mind-slaves? I doubt he wants them to go back home and tell everyone that the once noble slumlords are hitching a ride with some shitty pirates. Other Me will want to kill them. It is a bit cruel though, to kill them while they are being control. And if I take away control, then it will be like killing innocent men. Tch. Why am I even thinking about this? Bakura and Other Me will no doubt slaughter them, no matter what argument I come up with._ A light sigh escaped his lips as he slumped forwards to sprawl across Khepri's neck. "When did a slumlord manage to find his moral compass?" He mumbled despairingly.

* * *

Bakura popped his neck and yawned, keeping his eyes trained to the horizon. He was hoping to find the river soon; being in the desert with a horse as your sole companion was not one of the most pleasant experiences. He glanced down at the stallion's sweat coated sides and rubbed a shoulder soothingly. He would have to stop soon; Ialu was running out of energy. Although he was a massive stallion, with a sturdy build and an even sturdier determination, running for nearly fifteen minutes straight in the hot sun, on slippery sand dunes, with a coat of pitch black, after racing for twenty minutes beforehand, did not make for the best combination while cantering at a frenzied pace. Bakura tapped the horse's chest lightly with the heels of his sandals. "Ialu, you may stop." He murmured, as the horse quickly came to a halt.

The slumlord dismounted and tugged lightly on the stallion's reigns, leading it forwards. He seemed to feel the creature's reproachful gaze and glanced back wearily. "I know that you are tired, Ialu. Once we get to the river, you may stop and rest. But first we need to get to the river." He explained patiently.

The black stallion whinnied, before taking painfully slow steps forwards. Bakura rolled his eyes. Sometimes the horse reminded him more of Malik than he cared to think. They made their way up a large dune, and Bakura grinned at the sight below him. Water. The Sandora River. Ialu whinnied happily before bolting towards the river, leaving Bakura in the dust. The man felt the urge to roll his granite orbs once more. _What a loyal stallion._ He thought sarcastically as he slid down the sandy dune to the riverbank. He sat down beside his happily drinking stallion, and looked upriver apprehensively. The arrangement with the captain had been that he would arrive fifteen minutes early, and if the slumlords and their cargo had not arrived by seven thirty, he was allowed to continue downstream with no repercussions. Bakura's mouth twitched unhappily. He had no way of knowing exactly what time it was, after all, it wasn't like he was going to lug a cumbersome clock everywhere with him.

A honk pulled him out of his reverie, pulling his wandering gaze to a large boat, which had just docked in front of him. A chipper young man came out of the main cabin and waved to him cheerfully. "Hello, Bakura-sama. I'm glad to see that you got here okay!" He chirped as he jumped onto the sandy banks of the river. The brown-haired man walked towards him, hands in pockets and whistling a cheerful tune.

Bakura sneered at him. "Why are you so damn cheerful, Tristan?"

Tristan shrugged and if possible, his smile brightened even more. "Because, it's not everyday you get to meet one of the slumlords in person and talk to them. And also cause I'm hanging out with Joey after I get paid for this." He replied happily.

The slumlord's grey eyes narrowed. _If I just knew how to work the ship, then I could kill the brat and throw him in the river. Malik wouldn't care that I was steering as long as we got to the other side._ A smirk twitched on Bakura's lips as he finalized his plan. Yes, he would most definitely get the damnable brat out of his way. "You're right, Tristan. It is a once in a lifetime event to talk to someone of my status." He purred modestly as he stepped closer to the boat. He ran an appreciative hand along the painted boards.

"He's pretty cool, isn't he?" Tristan commented dreamily as he stood beside Bakura.

Bakura nodded in agreement. "Definitely. He's a real work of art." He paused dramatically for a moment, faking to be absorbing the beauty of the moment. "Does he have a name?"

Tristan nodded proudly. "Uh-huh. His name is the Cyber Commander."

Bakura's eye twitched discreetly. _He named it the Cyber Commander? What a stupid unoriginal, uncreative, little brat! If __**I**__ had named this ship, I would've called it something intimidating -something like… Dark Necrophear._ "That's a pretty cool name." His eyes flickered up to the wheel. "How does he steer?"

Tristan shot a sheepish grin at Bakura. "Like magic, really. Haven't ever even come close to running into anything. He almost steers himself, even."

_Wonderful. Makes it all the easier for me._ "Hey Tristan. Do you think you could show me how to work the Cyber Commander while we're waiting on Malik? He'll probably take a while, since he is coming with all the luggage. And I've always been fascinated by how ships work." He asked innocently, his stony eyes casting a cruel light on his smile.

Tristan smirked slyly. "I'm not stupid, Bakura-sama. If you were so annoyed by my presence, you could've just told me to shut up." Bakura's eyes narrowed as his smile slipped from his face. _Damn brat. He wasn't supposed to figure it out._ The boy shrugged. "I know what you were trying to do. You wanted me to explain the mechanisms of the Cyber Commander so you could kill me and throw my body into the river without fearing any repercussions." His smirk broadened to a grin. "I may not be a slumlord, but I'm not stupid, Bakura-sama." He hopped back onto the deck of his ship. "Bakura-sama, I'm going to be in the main cain. You guys can just hop aboard when Malik-sama gets here." He called down, before disappearing into the interior of the ship.

Bakura let out a disgusted sigh as he plopped onto the wet sand. "Great. Stupid brat. When he starts to annoy Malik, that dumb blond will blame me for not killing him when I had the chance." He idly glanced back at the looming red sand dunes. "I wonder where Malik is right now." He closed his wandering eyes and lay back against the shifting sands. "Ah well. He'll get here eventually."

A ten minutes later, Malik, followed by the ever silent mind-slaves, trotted over the sand dune. The blond sneered silently as he looked at Bakura. _Of course. Instead of coming back to help me, he falls asleep. A typical Bakura move._ He dismounted from Khepri and took pains to remain silent as he snuck over to the fallen slumlord.

"Hello Malik." Bakura murmured without opening his eyes.

Malik froze, caught in the act. He crossed his arms childishly as he stood over the white-haired man. "How did you do that? I know I was quiet."

Bakura smirked slightly. "I knew 'cause I'm magical like that." He retorted conceitedly.

The blond rolled his eyes as he kicked him lightly in the chest. "Yeah, yeah. Whatever." His violet eyes narrowed angrily. "Why were you just laying here sleeping? You were supposed to come back and tell me how much further it was to the river." _And save me from these idiotic mind-slaves._ He added silently.

Bakura shrugged. "It was only a fifteen minute canter from where I started. I figured it wasn't necessary. 'Sides, Ialu was worn out, so I wanted to give him a break." He gestured to the black stallion splashing happily in the water.

Malik clenched his fists. "Fine. Whatever. Where's the shitty captain?"

Bakura opened his grey eyes and slowly pushed himself up onto his feet. "Eh. He's in his cabin. Little shit is really annoying. Nothing much I can do about it. I tried to get him to teach me how to steer- what did he call it?- the Cyber Commander, but he figured out that I was going to kill him as soon as he did and went into his cabin.

Malik nodded grudgingly. After all, they did need a captain, and Malik didn't feel like wasting his powers on the twerp. "So how do we get the horses on the _Cyber Commander_?" He sneered, as he gestured to the rope ladder leading to the deck of the ship. "I know that they, sure as hell, are not going to climb a ladder.

Bakura banged on the side of the ship loudly. "Hey Tristan! Get your ass out here!" He yelled.

Tristan stumbled out, looking around frantically. "Where are the raiders? What's going on?!" He explained as he held a long butcher's knife between trembling fingers. He looked down at Bakura and connected the loud banging noise to the smirking slumlord. He blinked, before throwing the knife back into his cabin. "Hehe. Sorry about that?" He laughed nervously. His face turned serious once more as he glanced down at the new company. "Eh? You didn't tell me you were bringing horses."

"How else would we get here, shit-head?" Malik demanded, annoyed by the brunet already.

Tristan scratched his head as he leaned over the rail. "Huh. I'm not sure how we're gonna get them on here. I mean, they are pretty fat animals…"

The blonde's eye twitched. "Khepri is not fat, asshole!" He calmed down, seeing Tristan's startled face. "It's okay. I understand that an uneducated punk like yourself know nothing about horses. I'm okay with that." He sighed and pointed to the boat. "Do you have any thick planks? If you do, we could stretch one diagonally from the boat to the ground and the horses could get on and off."

Tristan smirked. "Of course I have planks, Slumlord Malik. What type of construction would I be if I didn't?" He disappeared onto the other side of the boat, before reappearing with a sturdy plank. "This good enough for your fat horses?" He smirked impishly.

* * *

Bakura twirled a lock of muddied hair despairingly with a tense finger. "Anything?" He shifted uncomfortably on the creaking box.

Marik sneered at him. "Still nothing, just like the other times you've asked." He snarled irately, the golden eye on his forehead giving a menacing pulse.

Bakura glared at his partner's Other me from the corner of his sleepless eye. It had been four days since they had reached the city of Alburna, and they had been forced to slip through the back alleys of Alburna for the duration of the time, searching for any information on the location of the Strawhats' ship. Nothing. Malik noted that the idiotic captain had woken up that morning, much to their relief, but all he had done was eat and take a bath. Bakura let out a pained sigh. His silky hair hadn't seen a shower for three days. In order to lay low, he was forced to dirty his easily distinguishable hair with the muck on the ground. He fit in perfectly with the other slum members, but it did not sooth his annoyance at the situation.

Suddenly, Marik straightened, the eye on his forehead letting out a spark of gold. "They… They have someone contacting them. Someone has their ship…" He paused, straining to shift through the disorganized mind for the information he was seeking, "A Baroque Works agent. He's taking their ship up river for them. They're meeting at about the area that we took our boat to get here…" His eyes widened. "They're leaving tonight! In roughly fifteen minutes." The eye stopped glowing as he slumped back against the wall. "We need to go. Now. Or else they'll leave without us. Our only way out of this gods-forsaken country may be leaving without us." He moaned in anguish.

"Marik, snap out of it you loon. We are going to get on their boat." Bakura shook him roughly by the shoulders as he smacked the man's forehead with the palm of his hand. "C'mon, use your brain for once. Call up your damned mind-slaves, and let's go. We need to ride quickly if we want to get there before those idiots."

Marik nodded, violet eyes glowing with a feverish intensity. "Right, right. Of course. I knew that." He murmured as the eye on his forehead flashed brightly. "They're going to meet us at the west side of town. They're regrouping, and they haven't lost anything." He growled slightly, the familiar barely suppressed rage remerging. "They've been clubbing while we've been wallowing in this filth. They left Khepri, Ialu, and the other horses in some disgusting stable. Tch. Fools."

Bakura shook his head as he snatched Marik's wrist. "No time for that. We can kill them later. We have to go. _Now!_" He dragged the blond out of the alleyway and onto the main streets. "If we don't leave, this'll be our life's passing us by!"

* * *

Mr. Two was happy. He had always been a fairly happy transvestite. Even after being totally humiliated and beaten by that pirate-chef Sanji, he managed to swallow his defeat and keep smiling, all the while staying true to his recently made friends. Who had tried to kill him. If that wasn't true happiness, he didn't know what was.

He enacted a graceful pirouette on the thin railing of the ship. What the ship called again? He bent down to check the worn name painted on the side. The Going Merry. Right. He needed to remember that if he was going to stay with the Strawhats.

A happy sigh escaped Mr. Two's broad lips. Soon, he would be out of this cursed country, and he could hang out with his friends. Soon… Well, soon they'd be going on all sorts of adventures together, and having fun, and playing game- Wait. What was that? The man's eyes narrowed as he peered into the dust cloud on the horizon. He let out a squeal of excitement as he clapped his hands loudly together. They were here! Riding on their horses, and bringing up a storm, but still, they were here! He straightened up as he waved rapidly to the horsed people. "Youhoo! Over here!" He called loudly, his nasally voice easily reaching the fifteen cloaked figures on horseback. Suddenly, he paused and recounted. _Fifteen?... Aren't there only six?_ He scratched his head in confusion as they steadily flew closer. He poked his finger towards them, dramatically counting them once again. Maybe Sanji-san had hit him too hard on the head when he was beating him up. His eye twitched slightly. There were still fifteen cloaked figures, riding towards him and the Going Merry at a frenzied pace.

Mr. Two blinked in confusion, before letting out a disgusted whine. These people were probably raiders. And he had just drawn them to the Strawhats' most prized possession. Friends did not help robbers steal from their friends. He planted his feet firmly on the rail, before sticking a hand, palm-out, towards the robbers. "Stop!" He cried angrily. He would not disappoint his new friends.

The cloaked figures slowly came to a halt, only scant feet from the Going Merry. He gulped. He had thought that he saw a flash of purple eyes beneath one of the figures cloaks. _Purple?_ He loosened his collar, trying to quell the sweat that began to pop up across his body. "Who are you?" He demanded shakily, all form of bravado gone. His eyes flickered to his hidden ship. His crew was on there; he would not disappoint them. He straightened slightly, fire returning to his eyes. "Who are you?" He inquired abruptly. How dare those robbers try to destroy the shaky trust that he had labored to create with the Strawhats'?

The man on the black horse shifted, stony eyes glaring demonically from beneath the rim of his hood.

Mr. Two paled and took a step back, falling off of the rail onto his butt. He instantly flushed and staggered to his feet, glaring moodily at the robbers. He was not going to let anyone humiliate him like that, demon or no. "That's not fair!" He whined as he stepped back onto the rail.

The demon chuckled. "Life's not fair, fool. Get used to it." He rasped.

Shivers ran up Mr. Two's spine. That man was definitely not human. His nose twitched in worry. Even if he managed to touch them, he doubted that any mental games he tried to play would leave a standing impression. There was trouble brewing.

"You are not one of the Strawhat's." The man on the golden horse finally spoke. He sounded agitated. All the worse for Mr. Two.

Mr. Two stuck out his chest pompously. "Nooooo! But I am their best friend." He twirled around, before sticking a foot out in front of the robbers' faces. "Now leave! Before I am forced to take action!" He ordered, praying they would not see through his bravado.

The violet-eyed man seemed prepared to murder him, but the grey-eyed man stopped him with a raised hand. His calculating eyes never shifted from Number Two's. "We are also Strawhat Luffy's friends. We have come here to give them gifts and our congratulations on defeating Crocodile." He indicated to the crates being carried by the mind-slaves.

The violet-eyed man smiled lazily as he glanced up at Mr. Two, rage quickly forgotten. His voice was sugarcoated, reminding Mr. Two of honey. Mhm. Honey was good. "Good sir, we have arrived early so that we may surprise them. We want to give them a surprise party. So you can't tell them that we are here. Not yet. We want to give them the party when they are out of Arabasta, away from memories of Crocodile." He stated smoothly.

Mr. Two clapped his hands in excitement, disregarding the malevolent looks the two leader's sent to each other. "Oh! A party! What fun! Okay, okay, umm…" He trailed off and glanced at his ship, before making an arcane sign. Several men jumped from the side and swam over to meet him. "Men, help Strawhat Luffy's friends get their presents aboard in the room with all of their cannons. Make sure you're quiet though. We want it to be a surprise." He ordered with disgustingly cheerful wink.

Mr. Two noticed the two leaders had stepped away from the others and were talking rapidly to each other, the violet-eyed one seeming to use a lot of violent looking hand motions. Finally, the grey-eyed one muttered something and they both nodded before walking silently back to the boat. The former Baroque Works agent smiled brightly. They must have been discussing the best way to surprise the Strawhat's! What fun that would be.

Suddenly, everyone who had arrived with the two leaders, save for one, jumped into the water. A moment passed. They were staying underwater for quite a long time. What a strange Arabastian custom. He shrugged as he glanced at the two to ask them about it. He stopped, and tried to get a better view of what was beneath the violet-eyed man's hood. Was that gold on his forehead? The gold suddenly disappeared, and the man glanced at his partner conspiratorially. The grey-eyed man smirked and tilted his head to the remaining man. The violet eyed man nodded and returned the smirk. The gold suddenly flashed beneath his hood, and the remaining man stripped off his cloak before mounting the golden horse. He quickly strung the black stallion behind him, before he shot back into the desert. Mr. Two scratched his head in confusion. What was going on here?

The black-haired ballerina took a cautious step towards the intimidating cloaked figures. "Hey guys." He chuckled nervously, trying not to sound too suspicious. "Where did all of your friends go?"

"They went for a race to see who could get to the bottom of the river first." The violet-eyed answered blandly, as if he had rehearsed the answer many times.

The other man snickered slightly at the answer, an action that did nothing to relieve the apprehension Mr. Two was feeling. "Oh. Shouldn't they be up for air by now?"

The violet-eyed man shook his head. "No. By the bottom of the river, I meant where it meets the sea, by the bottom of the map." He explained lithely.

_Why was something golden glowing on your forehead?_ He wanted to ask, but even socially awkward Mr. Two could understand that now was not the time for that question. "Oh." An uncomfortable silence once again stifled the air surrounding the ballerina. "Well, what are your names then?"

"Namu." The violet-eyed man replied listlessly.

The demon coughed slightly, as if choking on something. As he regained his speaking abilities, he rasped, "Ryou."

Suddenly, both swung their heads around to look at the horizon. Mr. Two shoved between the two, failing at trying to see over them. He gasped and smiled. He was saved from the demonic cloaked figures. "They're here!" He exclaimed in relieved excitement.

Namu and Ryou glanced at each other, before pulling Mr. Two back by the shoulders to whisper into his ears. "Don't forget. It's a surprise." They hissed in unison, before jumping onto the boat in an easy bound and disappearing below deck.

Mr. Two laughed weakly as he staggered up to his position, signaling for his men to return to their ship. "Yeah. Right...A surprise."

* * *

Malik groaned as he leaned back against a canon. "C'mon, 'Kura! I'm tired of not having a bed and wearing disgustingly filthy clothes; can't we just tell them that we stowed away on their ship?" He whined as he apprehensively twirled a lock of greasy golden hair between his dirtied digits.

Bakura sighed as he lay back into his stash of gold. "I dunno. I'm pretty happy where I am." He trailed a hand through his treasures lovingly.

Malik's eyes narrowed. That bastard really was okay as long as he had his money. He had even been sleeping on that damned pile. "Well I'm not. And we both stink."

"Go take a shower then." His partner dismissed lazily. "Can't you see that I'm busy trying not to get sea sick?"

The blond snarled as he shoved off from the canon and stormed over to Bakura. Bakura cracked an eye open curiously. "Need I remind you what happened when you tried to take a shower?" Malik hissed in annoyance.

Bakura's eyes darkened slightly. When he had gotten sick of wallowing in his own filth, he went into the crew's quarters in the middle of the night to take a shower. His shower was cut short by the captain storming in to pee. Luckily, the idiot believed he was a ghost and merely rubbed his eyes before leaving. Although the captain had apparently forgot the incident, neither of them wanted to risk a repeat occurence. "No, you don't." He spat irately. "Is there a point to your ramblings?"

Marik replaced Malik, and the blonde's glare seemed to intensify. "Yes, there is a point to Malik's ramblings. I am sick and tired of sitting in this cramped room with you and nothing to eat. And Malik; don't even get me started on what goes on in that brat's mind. Whining, whimpering, bratty, Malik! He's going to drive me to jump over the edge and drown just so he'll shut up! We have to introduce ourselves to these fools! If we don't, we're just going to end up killing each other by tomorrow to relieve stress." He growled.

Bakura's eyes narrowed, but he couldn't dispute the fact that both of them had become tense from their long ordeal. But it was so dangerous… Bakura shook his head adamantly. "No. We aren't going out there. We'll slip off at the next island, but we are not talking to these fools."

Marik was about to yell profanities at the white-haired man when suddenly the door opened. Bakura and Marik froze. A happily whistling man practically danced in, holding a toolbox and a close-eyed grin on his face. He opened his eyes, the grin not fading, and began to polish the cannon Malik had just been sitting on lovingly. As he turned to polish the one closest to Marik, he froze. Slowly, his eyes trailed from Marik's grubby toes all the way up to his ragged blond hair. The toolbox fell from his fingers with a loud clang. "Y-Y-Y-You're t-those g-g-guys! T-T-The o-one's a-a-a-after C-C-C-Crocodile." He stammered as he back towards the door. "You're the S-Slumlords!" He whispered, and with that, he ran out the door, accompanied by a girly shriek.

Marik looked expectantly at Bakura. "You gonna kill him before he raises the alarm?"

Bakura sighed and shrugged. "Doesn't matter to me. But if we kill him, the crew's too small for someone not to notice." The man grimaced, the scream still ringing in his ears. "Especially not if he keeps screaming like that."

Marik bowed deeply and held out a grimy hand. "Shall we then?" He mocked.

Bakura glanced at the hand in annoyance, before grabbing his hand. "We shall."

* * *

"What?" Nami looked aghast. _Please, if there's a god, don't let it be those guys._ She pleaded silently, remembering the harsh grey eyes that sneered at her.

Sanji and Chopper were oblivious. "The who?" The blond asked as he took a drag of his cigarette.

"The Slumlords!" Ussop whispered apprehensively, as if saying their names would call them forth.

"Hey Marik. I guess our reputation precedes us, even out in the middle of the ocean. We're still Slumlords." A lilting voice commented from behind the group.

A collective shiver ran through everyone but Luffy and Zoro's spines as dark chuckle rang through the ship. "Looks like you're right, Akefia. We are famous!" Another chuckle followed. "Let's introduce ourselves, since obviously not everyone knows our names." The crew turned around, all sporting different looks.

"Smut and Slut. What are you doing here?" The clipped voice of Niko Robin demanded, her forehead creased with a deep frown.

The two ignored the offensive comment and glanced at each other. Finally, the white-haired one glanced at Robin, a bored look tacked to his face. "Y'know, I could ask you the same question. Weren't you with that bastard Crocodile?"

"Robin-swan has changed." The other blond hissed icily.

The blond smirked as his golden eye flashed for a brief second. "Cool it, Mr. Prince." He noticed the crew's confused looks and his smirk broadened.

"H-How did you know that I was called that?" 'Mr. Prince' stuttered weakly.

The fabled blond slumlord inspected his nails lazily. "Why should I tell you? After all, half of you are thinking about killing Akefia and I right now. Well, _trying_ to kill Akefia and I." He amended quickly.

"Marik, the blond, reads people's minds. Only those that he's had the chance to control before." Robin's gaze slipped to Luffy. "He may be reading your mind. When he and Crocodile were talking, he told you to shut up and controlled your mind."

Luffy paled as Nami shivered. "He could be reading my mind also." She murmured in fright. "He wanted to know where our loyalties lie."

Bakura snickered as he poked Marik's shoulder. "See, you have a bigger reputation than me. These fools aren't afraid of me …yet. Be grateful."

Robin promptly filled in the blank he had left. "Akefia Bakura can steal souls and use them as he pleases."

Everyone backed away a few steps as Bakura let out a barking laugh. "Ah, c'mon princess. You should let me have my fun." He pulled something from his pocket and lazily tossed it to the black-haired woman. "Here, princess. An apology."

Robin caught it, and her eyes widened at the sight. It was the diamond necklace that Bakura had stolen from her before. She gazed at it with painful longing etched in her black eyes, but shrugged it off and carefully slid the valuable necklace in her jacket pocket.

Luffy scratched his head. "So what do they want?"

Zoro shrugged. "Seems like they wanted to stow away. Perhaps King Cobra kicked them out." He suggested apathetically.

Marik growled as Bakura hissed. "We aren't stupid, nor are we weak. Cobra most certainly did not kick us out." The blond hissed angrily. Suddenly, he laughed darkly as his gaze switched to Luffy. "So you did it. I knew that you would. Beat Crocodile, that is. Something about your disgustingly disorganized mind made me believe you."

Luffy nodded curtly. "Yep. I had to save Princess Vivi."

The two men tensed, but reigned in their potential outbursts for the sake of staying on the ship. Bakura cleared his throat and skipped over the volatile subject. "Anyways, you were probably wondering why we were here, yeah?"

"That would be nice to know, you shitty slumlord." 'Mr. Prince' muttered dejectedly.

Bakura smirked as he leaned against Marik. "See, we owned everything in the slums, and almost everything outside of the slums. Fame, power, wealth… it was all ours. Almost the whole country was under our control. But we began to think about our positions and reflect on our lives. We decided that we were bored. After all, we're only twenty-two; we need something else to do."

Marik grinned and chuckled darkly. "So we decided; what better than to go on a boat with the pirates who we believe will defeat Crocodile? We're hitching a ride with you until we get bored."

"Don't you need our approval to do that?" Zoro asked dryly.

Bakura inspected his fingernails. "You see, here's the deal. We can do this the easy or the hard way. The easy way is that you accept the top thief in Arabasta with his 700 million belli onto the ship, along with his partner who makes amazingly good poisons. We would only be here for a few weeks tops, and then we'll be going to some other island." He raised an eyebrow as he looked at Luffy. "Do you want to know the hard way?"

Nami's eyes lit up. "You have 700 million belli with you?" She squeaked happily.

Bakura nodded. "Yes, we do, little thief. We also have several books that could only be found in our extensive libraries and several casks of wine. Malik brought his poisons and poison making supplies." He replied nonchalantly. "You go ahead and make your decision. But I will tell you this. Either decision that you make, we _will_ be staying on the boat. It just depends if it's the easy way or the hard way."

* * *

Listen up, people. I have an important question, and I need _your_ opinion on it. Should I do all of that junk with the rainbow place next, or should I just skip it and go to Mock Island? See, I really don't like the rainbow/ alternate universe place, but time with the Strawhat pirate's is going to be limited, so I'm not sure if I should write it. Please tell me what you guys think I should do.


	3. They're on a Boat, Aaannd

An elegant smirk crept across Marik's aristocratic lips as he listened to Bakura's near inaudible breathing. Even trapped beneath the suffocating bindings of sleep, the man managed to remain an over cautious bastard. The slightest sound would send a knife soaring into a potential assailant's throat and a kick in the groin.

The blond slumlord slipped from the scratchy wool blanket that had been grudgingly thrown at him and walked to the door, taking great pains not to wake his fellow crewmates. Although everyone in the room slept like logs, save Bakura, he was not willing to take that risk. He merely craved the blessed silence of the night, being questioned would be counter intuitive, and most likely end in a murderous argument.

The trip to the deck was silent, only the occasional snores of Luffy permeating the deathly silence aboard the ship. As he leaned over the railing, his calm violet eyes slid shut. Peace. Although Malik would argue to his grave that being a slumlord was stressful, Marik had thought it was a relaxing change in pace. Kill some annoying bastards, threaten some annoying bastards, listen to Bakura bitch about money and his attitude… it all had a strangely calming effect on the volatile mind.

The waves beat steadily against the side of the boat, giving the blond a sense of stability. The ocean would never leave the ship and the ship would never leave the ocean. It was an awkward agreement, full of loopholes and lies, but somehow it managed to work. The relationship just… fit. Completely differing from the partnership between the two minds of Malik, and Bakura. Every circumstance had a strict series of rules, regulations, and carefully planted loopholes; all designed by Malik and Bakura to satisfy their paranoid urges. If it were up to Marik, he would've killed Bakura already to cut out the middleman, so to speak. _Perhaps that is __**why**__Bakura is such a paranoid bastard._ Marik mused thoughtfully.

"What're you doing out here so late? Trying to figure out what else you can force us to do, short of killing us?" A gruff voice demanded. Their boots clipped against the wood lazily, showing that the owner was not intimidated by the slumlord.

Marik nearly laughed aloud. How wrong they all were. They cower in fear the moment they recognized his true power. "I got tired of the snoring and sleep talking of our crewmates, so I came up here for the sound of silence." He answered bluntly.

The person's steps faltered, obviously put out by Marik bluntness, but quickly resumed their trek. In two exaggerated steps, the owner ended up behind the blond. In two more steps, the owner was leaning against the railing in a position similar to the blond, finally showing his face. "I'm surprised. You seemed like the type of person to kill off people and things you consider annoyances, instead of walk away from them." Zoro remarked bitterly.

Marik shrugged apathetically. What the green-haired man had said was true; he had the tendency to kill whom or what he considered pests. Tonight just hadn't seemed right though. "If I killed you, then we couldn't get to our exit point. After all, neither Bakura nor I know how to work a ship. We would accidentally manage to sink it ten minutes along our solo journey." He replied calmly.

Zoro tensed beside him. "So we're just a mode of transportation for you?" Anger was radiating from him in waves.

The blond slowly turned to face him, eyes studiously blank. "Would you prefer that I lie?"

Zoro let out a grating chuckle. "I suppose the truth is better, if only slightly. It doesn't exactly put my mind at peace, after you strong-armed your way onto Merry. You didn't give us much of a choice, did you?"

Marik licked his lips slowly, as he shifted his gaze to the moon. "No, I suppose not. But do you blame us?"

"Yes." Zoro answered, no hesitation.

A dark chuckle passed through Marik's lips. "Of course. I had forgotten how narrow-minded normal mortals are. I'm used to dealing with Bakura. He at least understands a little, if not more." He looked up at the moon, eyes full of a jealous longing. "See the moon?"

Zoro glanced up. "Yeah. What about it? It's a giant space rock; nothing special."

Marik shook his head scornfully. "Naïve, naïve little Zoro. It is much more than a giant space rock." He drummed powerful fingers against the railing irately. Malik still hadn't woken up to take over the frail body. His eyes flashed around the ship feverishly, searching for something to unload their intensity on. "You…" He shrugged slowly, as his body took the unspoken opportunity to calm. "You don't know anything about my past. You know nothing about _our_ past. That is why it is so easy for you to blame us." He turned and walked back to below deck. "Think before you speak, Pirate Hunter Zoro. Someone might take it upon themselves to cut that treacherous tongue of yours out."

* * *

Bakura yawned as he toyed with the eggs on his plate. Sanji had made them for breakfast of once tantalizing eggs, but Bakura, being the late sleeper that he was, had to swallow the eggs cold instead of getting a warm lunch like everyone else. He shot an apathetic glance out the small circular window. If only he could find a non-offensive excuse to not eat the now disgusting plate of eggs. Nothing. He bit back a sigh as he lifted a small forkful of cold mush to his mouth. There was no escaping it. He would have to eat them. Suddenly, a flicker of something outside the window caught his eager eyes. He stood up instantly and ran to the window, shoving his face against the glass for a better view.

"Slut, what are you doing?" Robin asked, not taking her eyes from her book.

Bakura sneered silently at her. "Well, this is part of my traditional morning routine, Princess. I _enjoy_ smashing my face against a window to look outside. It's the best way to see everything." He retorted scathingly, before glancing at Luffy. "Hey, captain, we got several Marine ships coming after us."

Luffy cooed in excitement as he finished off the last of the appetizing sandwiches. "Oh gooood. I was getting bored." He skipped out onto the deck with a happy chucke, but not before snatching Bakura's plate of eggs, swallowing them in a smooth gesture.

Bakura crossed his arms, trying to distract his companions from the satisfied twitch of his lips. "Well, now that breakfast is done, time to play with the dumb Marines."

Nami tapped his should cautiously. "Erm. Shouldn't you tell Malik? After all, he's still asleep, and a cannonball may hit the ship."

The slumlord smirked as he walked out on deck. "Nah. He'll survive somehow. He's like a little cockroach. Won't die when you want him to." He called back, before leaning on Luffy's shoulder. "So cap'tn. What are your orders?"

Luffy shrugged as he scratched his head. "I dunno. They haven't done anything yet, so maybe they haven't seen us." A cannonball splashed beside the Going Merry with a loud boom.

"So much for that idea." Zoro muttered as he pulled a giant oar from the ship. He tossed a second to Bakura, who looked at it blankly. The green-haired man began to row, before glaring at Bakura. "Aren't you going to help, slumlord?" He sneered.

Bakura shrugged as he handed the oar off to Usopp, who began to paddle frantically. "Why should I? He's obviously doing better than I could."

"Then steal their souls, or something!" Nami called frantically as the cannonballs rained down, barely missing the ship.

"They're too far away. Get me within twenty feet, then I can take them, so stop bitching at me." He answered contemptuously.

"What good are you then, slumlord?" Sanji demanded as he helped Usopp row.

Bakura frowned before sitting down, slamming his hands against the wooden deck. "I didn't _want_ to do this because it's a waste of souls. But if you are all so pathetic that you need my help, then I suppose I must." His body began to glow blue, as he shut his eyes. Slowly, the blue glow lifted from his body and into the air, expanding around the ship until it encased it in the form of a large blue bubble. Bakura opened his eyes and smirked at the shocked crew. "This help enough?"

Chopper squeaked happily. "Thank you, Bakura!"

Before Bakura could reply, a cannonball slammed into the side of the shield. He winced as several screaming blue flames flew from the shield and disappeared into the sky.

"Wh-Whu-What was that?" Usopp stammered as he poked the shield. A shriek erupted from the part he poked, as a single blue flame disappeared.

"Don't touch it, you idiots." Bakura snarled as multiple blue flames hurled from his body to repair the holes in the bubble.

The door from below deck opened and Malik walked out, smiling happily. "Morning guys. Hey, 'Kura… what's with your soul shield?"

Bakura rolled his eyes as he looked up at the blond. "We're getting attacked by the Marines. They were bitching at me to do something, so I did."

Malik raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure that's a good idea? After all, you can't get these guys back after you lose 'em. 'Sides, wouldn't it be kind of bad to have a few zombies come out from the middle of the desert and start terrorizing the cities."

"I know that. And souls don't survive unless the body is still 'alive'. They'll just disappate into the atmosphere and go wherever they're supposed to go after death. Don't you think that I've already tried to resurrect zombies?" Bakura hissed in annoyance as another cannonball bounced off the shield, releasing a swamp of souls. "Besides, if we die now, it won't matter if I kept the souls or not. These morons can't protect themselves and us, so I have to do it for them." A second layer of souls spilled from Bakura's body to strengthen the shield once more.

"How about instead of talking, you control the Marine guy after us and tell them to back off!" Nami screeched as she jammed a finger into Malik's chest.

Malik shot her a hurt glare. "Gods, what's your problem?" He whined.

Nami's eyebrow twitched violently. "My problem is your sitting here talking when you could be getting the Marine's off our tail!" She exclaimed, turning Malik around to face the Marine ships. "See? The one in the middle is where their command will be. Go get'em, tiger!"

Malik pulled out of her grip and stepped back to Bakura. "If I could do anything, I would. But I can't." He swept an arm out to all of the ships. "They're too far away for me to control for the first time. Get them within twenty feet of me and I'll be good." He retorted bitterly.

Sanji shuffled by, pulling the screaming Nami away from the two slumlords. "Nami-swan, we need you to steer us out of here."

Suddenly, a trailing Marine ship exploded.

All of the Strawhats ran to the back of the Going Merry to get a better view of what happened. "What? They sank their own ship!" Chopper exclaimed.

Usopp looked confused for a moment, before an egotistical smile spread across his face. "Yes, that's right! Exactly how I planned it! Take that, stupid Marines!"

Nami grinned happily as the Going Merry shot forwards. "Good. Now we can use the gap that the ship left to escape!" She steered past the ship, leaving the Marines floating in the water.

Zoro turned to the two slumlords and glared at them. "So. Can't do anything, can you?"

Bakura and Malik frowned as the shield sunk back under Bakura's skin. "You couldn't do anything either. So don't pin the blame on us."

"If you really wanted us to do something, you should have trusted us and stopped the ship, luring them close enough for us to use our devil fruit abilities." Malik added condescendingly, placing a hand on his scrawny hips.

"But you didn't. So we couldn't do anything." Bakura finished.

Nami rolled her eyes and shoved past Zoro to look at the slumlords. "Okay. Tell us what you can do, so we know how we can use you the next time the Marines come around."

Malik glanced at Bakura and shrugged. The white-haired slumlord gave a slight nod, before Malik began to speak. "As you know, I can control people's minds and read their thoughts. I can only read the thoughts of people I have controlled. I can control people for the first time that are twenty feet away, and after that I can control them from miles away. So if I needed something from the store and you were sitting on the ship to guard it, I could take control of you and have you do what I wanted."

Bakura leaned on Malik's back lazily, draping his arms over his companion's shoulders. "I can steal anyone on this ship's soul. I just need to be close, or have something to extend my powers through. Like the ground. If I put my hands against the ground, or in the water, I can steal souls from fifty-feet away. I can also make soul shields, but souls that I've collected get released every time it gets hit." He began to toy with the blonde's hair. "And I think that's about it for our devil-fruit powers." He lied, noting that Malik didn't describe the full extent of his powers.

"Not to mention our other talents, such as lying, stealing, cheating, fighting, whoring, and being all around charming." Malik piped in presumptuously.

"For some reason, I don't believe the charming part. But I completely agree with the rest of your talents." Robin snapped irritably as she looked through her binoculars for pursuing Marine ships.

"Shut it, princess." The blond snapped. "You worked for Crocodile. I don't know how anyone on this ship can trust you. We were at least straight forward about our intentions, you conniving little bitch."

"Don't call Robin-chan a bitch, slumlord!" Sanji exclaimed angrily as he kicked Malik in the arm, sending him crashing into the rail.

"Don't you dare hit my business partner again." Bakura snarled as he took a protective step in front of the stunned slumlord, hands erupting in blue flames.

Usopp laughed nervously. "Haha. Can't we just… forget this ever happened?" Several eyes snapped toward him in violent glares, and he gulped audibly. "Umm… Wow! The attacks of the Marines are really intense here!" He tried again.

Malik nodded grudgingly as he wiped the dusty footprint from his dress shirt, Bakura helping him to his feet. "Yeah. We never had problems with the Marines in Arabasta. I suppose that is the only thing the two of us owe Crocodile for." He glanced back at the open ocean. "It doesn't look like anyone's back there, but who knows. Hopefully they aren't going to the same city that we are."

Zoro sighed and sat down, leaning against the mast. "I guess with two wanted criminals on our ship, they really want to kill us." He shrugged off Bakura and Malik's glares. "Yeah, yeah. We all know you're worth 134 million. But they don't know that you're on here with us."

Nami peered over the wheel at the two slumlords. "We have to set down some rules. Bakura, if you steal everyone in this city's soul, they'll run us out of town. Malik, if you piss enough people off by controlling them, they'll run us out of town. Just… just try not to use your powers too much. Please?" She begged.

Bakura rolled his eyes and nodded, while a frown spread across Malik's face. He opened his mouth to argue, but Bakura whispered a few inaudible words in his ears. The frown flipped into a devious smile. "Of course Nami-saaan. We'll make _extra_ sure not to get in trouble." He purred saccharinely.

The redhead gulped nervously, but her clarification was cut off by an excited whoop from Luffy. "We're here! This place looks awesome! I wonder if they like pirates?" He jabbered happily as he jumped down onto the rocks.

"Luffy! Don't do that! The rocks are slippery and you could fall in!" Usopp cried in exasperation while the scatter-brained captain danced across the sharp rocks with ease. Suddenly, Luffy froze and his body went lax. When he turned around, there was a blank look in his eyes as he carefully made his back onto the ship.

Zoro helped him up and waved a hand in front of the boy's face in concern. "Luffy? Hey Luff, you okay?"

"Calm down, Pirate-Hunter. I just took control of him so he wouldn't fall in." Malik answered lazily.

Zoro glanced at the glowing gold eye on the slumlord's forehead, a threatening growl tearing from his throat. "Release him. Now."

Malik bared his teeth irately. "Shouldn't you be a little bit more polite now that I have your captain under my control? I could do anything I want to him." To prove his point, Luffy jumped up on the rail and began to do a jig over the precariously positioned rocks.

Zoro's eyes narrowed into angry slits. "Fine. _Please_ let Luffy go. Now."

Malik smiled endearingly as Bakura rolled his eyes at the blonde's theatrics. "Well wasn't that easy, Pirate-Hunter? Since you were so polite, here you go!" Luffy collapsed onto the deck as he released his control over him.

Chopper smiled nervously as he tugged on the crinkled sleeve of Malik's shirt. "Hi. D-Do you want to come with m-me when we go into the city?"

Malik glanced at Bakura, who shook his head. He looked back down at the reindeer and smiled politely. "I'm sorry, but I have other business in this city. But Bakura can probably come with you."

Luffy, perfectly fine after his mini-episode, leaned over the rail in excitement. "Look! A harbor! That means food!" He laughed happily as Nami docked the Going Merry near a cliff.

Malik and Luffy were the first to jump off the ship, followed by Bakura and the others. Chopper trotted ahead, keeping Bakura in tow. "Halt!"

Chopper stopped, blinking cutely in confusion. "Huh?"

"You may not pass until you pay the harbor tax! Everyone who docks in the harbor, even in the shallow area surrounding the harbor, must pay the harbor tax."

"Harbor tax?" Chopper repeated, features still perplexed.

"He's saying that we have to pay money to dock here." Usopp clarified.

Bakura chuckled. "Smart person in charge. Malik and I used to do that in all of the harbors in Arabasta. Everyone paid because I would steal their souls if they didn't."

Nami disregarded the slumlord's disturbing statement, instead choosing to pick a fight with the guard. "Why do we have to pay to leave our ship here?"

The guard pulled out a large gun with a scowl on his face. "Because its your obligation." He cocked the gun. "Are you going to pay or not?"

Malik wagged a finger in mock disappointment. "No, no, no. You've got it all wrong. You need to say something that no one can argue with. Something like… because it's our land, and we don't like freeloading pirates taking up space that could be used for paying citizens."

The guard blinked, before rubbing his head and smiling sheepishly. "Say, that is pretty good. Do you mind if I use it?"

"Only if you pay a thousand belli." Bakura offered.

The guard rolled his eyes and sighed, pulling out several bills from his pocket and handing them to him. "Here you go. Now can I use it?"

Bakura smirked and nodded as he pocketed the wad of belli. "Sure. Knock yourself out, kid."

The man cleared his throat as he repositioned his gun. "You have to pay the harbor tax because it's our land and we don't like freeloading pirates taking up the space that could be used for paying citizens. Now, are you going to pay or not?"

Sanji stepped forwards, positioning himself in front of Nami. "Don't point that thing at a lady." He ordered threateningly.

The guard frowned. "What? Why should I listen to you, pirate?"

A tense silence clogged the air for a long minute.

Suddenly, Luffy lost patience and ran over Sanji and the guard. "Food, food, food, food, food!" He exclaimed as he went running towards the city.

Malik shrugged and followed the captain as Chopper tugged Bakura along. "Come on, Bakura! We need to hurry before Nami makes us shop with her!" Nami grabbed the reindeer by the ear, face shadowy. "And where do you think you're going, Chopper?" She asked darkly.

Chopper whimpered. "Um…. Shopping with you! Yeah!"

She released his ear, a smile appearing on her face. "Great! That's what I thought you said."

"I'll go too, Nami-swan!" Sanji cried dramatically as he ran up behind her.

Bakura rolled his eyes at the other's antics. "Why does _he_ have to come?" He mumbled moodily.

Sanji snorted. "Because you'd let Nami get hurt if someone paid you money for it."

The slumlord smirked slightly. "I didn't know that you knew me so well, Sanji."

Chopper sighed as he leaned against Bakura leg. "Trust us. It's not that hard to guess."

* * *

Malik watched in detached interest as Luffy inhaled yet another plate of noodles. _I wonder who's paying for this?_ He thought as his gaze shifted to the old man. He was talking about something. Was it unicorns or rainbows? Whatever it was, it sounded pretty stupid. He yawned as he popped his back. "When will 'Kura get back?" He whined as he glanced at the door.

Usopp snorted. "If they went with Nami, it'll take forever. Nami shops a lot because she has all of her stolen money to use."

Malik sighed as he leaned against his arm. "What're we supposed to do until then?"

"Why do you care if Bakura gets back soon or not? Are you missing your _looovveer?_" Usopp taunted.

Malik shook his head simply. "Nope. He's not my lover. He's my banker. And he has a plan to make us a lot of money, but I can't do anything until he gets back. He needs to set everything up first." He frowned. "His plans are always brilliant, but they take forever and I don't particularly care about the money." A smirk slipped onto his lips. "I just care about the chaos I am allowed to create."

Someone outside began to bang drums loudly and people looked at the door in fright. "Crap! The Collection Party is here." All of the people began to eat and drink quickly, stuffing as much food into their mouths as possible.

The door opened and the room's occupants froze as a redheaded man walked in, a smug smirk on his face as he surveyed the room. "Well, well. I trust that everyone is enjoying their meals?" He sauntered over to a man in the midst of chugging a glass of ale and cleared his throat. "You there. That's some fine ale you're drinking. When you drink, you must pay the drinking tax."

The man's eyes widened as he dropped the glass on the table. "No, you can't! The money in my wallet is to support my wife and children!" He exclaimed as the guards grabbed his wallet and tossed it to the redhead.

The redhead's smirk only grew. "If you do not pay your taxes, you have no business being a citizen here." He continued his trek over to the old scientist sitting at their table.

Malik raised an eyebrow. Even the people of Rainbase, the desert city where Malik and Bakura were most often stationed, didn't fear their slumlords this much. _Exactly who is this man? _He mused thoughtfully. His ears caught the tail end of a whispered conversation between Usopp and the bartender. _Ah. That explains it. The mayor's son. What a peculiar name. Mayor Whetton. Weird names aside, Bakura and I never had that type of power. They have the law and the Marine's on their side._ A frown stole across his face. _But still, aren't mayors elected to appease the general populace and maintain order in the city? These people don't look the happiest. What is going on here?_

"Oh well if it isn't Professor Henzo! My father has been looking for you. He wants to know how your research is going." Philip stated, a toothy smile on his face.

"Same as usual." The scientist answered unenthusiastically. "Especially since we don't know when or where the Mist will appear again. I can't just work off of theories and calculations alone."

Philip's smile grew to gigantic proportions. "What a pity. These citizens are funding your research and the building of the Rainbow Tower with their taxes. Or have you forgotten that the longer you continue, the more these people are forced to empty their pockets for you?" He began to walk away, but his eyes suddenly landed on Luffy; the only person in the room still eating obliviously. "You there! That's a rather large plate of spaghetti that you are eating right now!" The redhead exclaimed triumphantly.

Luffy nodded, noodles dripping from his mouth and muffling his answer. "Yep. I was pretty hungry. I need to keep my strength up."

"Well, you know, you have to pay the large serving tax for eating such a large portion of food." Philip ordered slyly.

Luffy merely pointed to Usopp. "Not a problem. He's paying."

"What?" Usopp exclaimed incredulously. Malik snorted. Usopp was such a naïve idiot. The 'naïve idiot's' eyes landed on Malik vengefully. "You! You're just sitting over their laughing. Why don't you pay it, especially since you have so much money?"

The blond slumlord shrugged and reached for his wallet. "Whatever. Just remind me to tell 'Kura that it was you who made me use his money to pay a tax in a city that he is not a citizen in."

Usopp blinked and blanched as he rummaged quickly through his pockets. "Nevermind! It's fine, it's fine! I'll pay!"

Malik smiled innocently. "Are you sure? I'm near positive that 'Kura won't mind his hard earned money being spent on you morons."

Usopp gulped, mouth suddenly dry. "Don't worry. In fact, don't even mention this to Bakura."

* * *

Usopp glared at Luffy as he shook out his empty wallet. "You! This is all your fault! Why did you say that I was paying? When did I agree to that?"

Luffy bowed quickly. "Thank you."

The sniper's eye twitched violently. "You've got to be kidding me! This is coming out of your wallet next time we get treasure!"

Malik rolled his eyes and sighed softly. _Where is 'Kura? I know that he has to set up for this stupid 'Doctor' scheme of his, but it shouldn't be taking this long. Ugh. Why did he go with that stupid reindeer and girl and chef? I bet they're what are holding him back. Probably caught wind of his little operation and are preaching to him about morals. _A small smile slid onto his lips. _Bakura wouldn't understand morals even if Ra himself tried to teach them to him._

The professor suddenly stopped ahead of them, and the barkeep stepped in between Usopp and Robin. "Now you've seen it for your own eyes. Unless you want to ignored by all of the good tax-paying citizens here, you will do best to stay away from Henzo."

Robin smiled politely. "Thank you for the warning, sir, but it is not me who will be making this decision. Our captain will." She dismissed.

The barkeep grumbled fumingly, but disappeared back into his restaurant.

Malik sighed aloud, and Usopp glared at him. "What're you sighing about? You didn't have to pay a cent for lunch!"

The blonde's mouth twitched. Usopp's persistent whining was really pissing him off. "If you didn't notice, I didn't eat anything. Which means that I didn't have to pay for anything. It was all fair, Usopp. So keep your civil tongue in your head before I slice it off." He growled.

Robin rolled her eyes. "Aww. Is Smut anorexic to keep up his girlish figure?" She mocked.

Suddenly, her and Usopp froze, before they began to ballroom dance together. Malik's lips were pursed angrily as his fingers clenched the hem of his shirt. "You are extremely lucky that you fools are part of our captain's crew. I have killed people for that type of disrespect." He hissed as he pulled Luffy away. "Come on, Captain. They appear to be enjoying themselves. They'll catch up to us when they're ready."

Luffy nodded and grinned broadly. "Hehe. And they say that I act ridiculous." His eyes suddenly lit up. "Oh! Hey! Make them do the Tango!"

Malik smirked as the golden eye on his forehead flashed menacingly. "Only if we leave to follow our wonderful professor."

"It's a deal!" Luffy agreed eagerly and the dancers changed styles near instantly.

Malik tugged him along up to the professor. "Okay, Professor Henzo. We're ready to go."

* * *

Bakura rolled his eyes as they continued down the street. His plan was already in motion. These idiots just needed to bring him back to Malik, and it would work perfectly. He adjusted the grip on his shopping bags, surveying the area for a place to change. It wouldn't do him any good if some of the fools recognized him.

"You're still shopping, Nami?" Chopper asked incredulously.

"Well, yeah! I need to make sure I don't run out of mapping paper while we're at sea." She explained happily.

"Can I go find the others? I need to talk to Malik. He's probably getting bored and ready to take control of someone." Bakura asked dryly.

Nami glared back at him. She had tried to get him to carry her shopping bags, but that had been a complete and utter failure. Apparently, the slumlord had a strong streak of pride. But now it was time for revenge. "No, you cannot go yet. We haven't visited all of the stores that I need to go to. Unless you want to wimp out and show Sanji that you aren't man enough to keep up with a woman." She insinuated slyly.

"I don't think that shopping is a very manly pastime. And I've seen little girls in my slums that are more manly than Sanji." Bakura retorted.

Sanji stopped, and turned around to shoot a scathing glare at the slumlord. "Hey. What did I do to you to deserve that insult? I've actually been pretty civil to you today."

Bakura nodded, a tight smile on his lips. "I suppose you're right. I'm trying to make you get angry enough at me that Nami can't stand our arguing and she sends me away. Then, Chopper would follow me, and you would have a shopping trip all alone with your, beloved _Nami-swan_."

Sanji blinked, before his eyes turned into hearts as he looked at Nami. "Nami-swan! How about we dump these losers and go find something else to do?" He suggested sweetly.

"There they are! Those are the people who refused to pay the harbor tax!" A familiar guard exclaimed. He still had a foot shaped imprint on his face from Luffy running over him.

A man in a large rubber and metal suit stomped around the corner and stopped in front of the quartet. "So you are the pathetic idiots who not only refused to pay the harbor tax, but also hurt one of the guards." He lifted his head up, a smug smirk visible through the glass surrounding his face. "I'm Mayor Whetton's grandson, Reik! I shall make you pay the harbor tax in anyway possible. If you don't, then you will be forced to leave!"

"Hey, we were having fun on our shopping trip. Just leave us alone, and nobody gets hurt." Sanji threatened as he chewed on his cigarette butt.

The man chuckled, before clapping his pincer-like arms. "You aren't in the position for threats, little man." He took a step forwards as Nami and Chopper took a step back.

Sanji flew towards the man's face and smashed his foot against he glass. He pulled back almost instantly, electricity coursing over his body. "Wh-What was that?" He panted in confusion.

Reik laughed again. "When ever someone tries to touch me, they receive a strong electric shock! It is futile to stand against me!"

Bakura waved cheerfully to the familiar guard. "How are you doing? I hope your face heals up soon. That was a low trick of Straw-hat to play." He said sweetly.

The guard smiled sheepishly and nodded. "Hey, thanks." His eyes shifted to Reik. "Don't hurt the white-haired guy, or a tan blond guy wandering around. Those guys were pretty decent."

Reik nodded as Nami and Sanji's mouths dropped open. "What? You aren't going to hurt that jerk?" Nami exclaimed incredulously.

Chopper was still busy trying to figure out the secret behind the electricity. "He must have a devil fruit power!"

Nami's eye twitched as she pointed to the guard on a bike behind him. "It's self made!" She accused loudly.

"Bring up the voltage!" He yelled to the people behind him. They began to bike faster, and the electricity grew to large visible sparks.

Bakura's eye twitched as he tried to force his hair to lay flat once more. "What the hell?" He growled irately.

"You know, this isn't looking good." Nami muttered nervously. Her gaze slipped to Bakura. "Bakura! Use your devil fruit! You can stop him, he's within twenty feet."

The slumlord turned around with a smirk. "Why should I? They already agreed not to attack me, and you told me not to use my powers." He argued mockingly.

A large bolt of electricity shot to where Sanji was, encasing the area in smoke.

Luffy stopped and leaned forwards to look at the lower level of the city. A single area of it was brimming with choking smoke.

Malik glanced over to the smoke. "Lightning? But there're no clouds in the sky." _Ugh. Someone probably caught on to Bakura's little scheme and he's getting killed right now. And he calls me stupid._

Sanji let out a sigh of relief as the smoke cleared. "Good thing I managed to dodge that."

Reik lifted the claws, lightning still sparking violently at the tips. "You are lucky you dodged that. But next time, you won't be so lucky!"

"Sanji! Be careful!" Nami called loudly.

Sanji turned to look at her, hearts in his eyes. "Yes, Nami-swan! I didn't know you cared!"

Nami pointed to the shopping bags still held in his hands. "Actually, I don't. Make sure you damage my stuff."

The blond had the dignity to look affronted for a moment, but then nodded, hearts back in eyes. "Of course, Nami-swan! Not one speck of dirt shall touch your bags." He shifted his feet into a more comfortable position. "Come and get me, you shitty guards."

* * *

Usopp and Robin caught up with the three moments later. Several irate glares were directed at Malik, but otherwise, the matter was dropped.

Usopp sighed. "God, this mayor guy sure seems like a jerk! What was with that large serving tax anyways? I didn't even know anybody could make such a thing and get away with it."

Malik shrugged. "He's the mayor. He has that type of power and the Marines backing him up. There's nothing these people can do about it, except hope that he dies soon." He snorted. "Even if he does, he obviously has a bastardly son eager to take up the position. The citizens are stuck in a rut of unfair and unjust taxes. I'm surprised that the Marines haven't done anything about it yet."

"I'm sorry." Professor Henzo murmured.

Luffy looked at him in confusion. "Eh? What're you sorry about, old man?"

Usopp rolled his eyes as he wrapped an arm around Luffy's neck. "Didn't you pay any attention? Henzo is one of them. His weird experiments are the reason these guys are being taxed. He's Mayor Whetton's dog!" He let out a short sigh. "Did you understand any of that?"

"Nope." Luffy replied happily.

"Did you hear? Down at the harbor! An old galleon!" Someone exclaimed as they ran past the six, down towards the harbor."

"A galleon? Can it be?" Henzo took off running, the others trailing behind him.

As they reached the docks, they shoved through the crowds for a better look at the ship.

"Ugly." Malik muttered as he laid a critiquing eye on the ship. "Why would anyone want that weird lion thingy carved onto the front of their ship? It looks like it got seasick and is about to puke."

Henzo seemed to choke. "It…. It is!" He exclaimed as he ran towards the dock. He unfolded his backpack into a little car, which he rolled into the water. As it hit the ocean, the sides inflated and a small propeller came out of the back, shooting him straight towards the galleon.

* * *

Twin sparks of lightning leapt from the metal claws towards Sanji. Sanji bounced away from the first, but the second followed him until his was hit.

He winced as the electric current forced him to the ground. "I was sure I dodged that." He muttered.

Chopper's eyes widened in realization. "Sanji! Metal conducts electricity! Drop anything that you have that's metal!"

"No! Don't, Sanji! I will never forgive you if you do!" Nami cried.

Chopper looked at her, appalled. "What do you mean? Do you want him to get electrified?"

Nami shrugged. "It doesn't really matter to me what happens to him. Those were expensive, though, and I paid good money for them. He can't just leave them behind."

"Nami! If any normal person had been hit by that much electricity, they would've already-" Chopper contended.

"Well he's not normal, is he? He'll be fine. He just needs to suck it up." She argued adamantly.

Sanji stepped back and turned around, beginning to run. "Gang way!" He shoved Bakura aside as Nami and Chopper followed him. Reik, tripped over the cords attaching him to the bike. Bakura's eyes narrowed angrily as he clenched his own shopping bags angrily. They were that eager to let him be killed were they? He stormed over to the fallen man and helped him up, ignoring the strong electrical shock coursing through his veins.

Reik looked at him in confusion as he pulled his arm out of Bakura's grasp. "Didn't that hurt?" He asked as his guards unzipped the suit carefully with their rubber-gloved hands.

Bakura shrugged as he tried to force his hair down. "It hurt like a bitch. My friend's a masochist though. And he's a strong believer in his 'sharing the pain' approach. And he does it, whether you want him to or not. According to him, it makes you stronger."

The redhead nodded as he stepped out of the suit, leaving it for his guards to pick up. "I'm not sure if I mentioned it, but I'm Reik, Mayor Whetton's grandson." He held a gloved hand out to shake.

Bakura shrugged as he took the other's hand in a firm clasp. "If we're being all formal, I'm Slumlord Akefia Bakura of the Nomadic Tribe of Kul Elna in Arabasta."

Reik raised an eyebrow, astounded. "Huh. Well that's interesting. You know, my grandfather used to be a pirate. He likes keeping up with the status of the latest in criminal politics for ideas. I'm sure he'll know you."

"Probably. He'll also know the blond that your guard mentioned. He's Slumlord Malik Ishtar of the Tomb-keepers of Arabasta." The two began to walk down the street, guard lugging the heavy equipment behind them. "How did your grandfather get appointed to the position of Mayor? It's obvious that none of the citizens like him." Bakura pointed out tactlessly.

Reik shot him a lopsided grin. "How else? He burned the city to the ground fifty years ago and was the best leader they could come up with on such short notice. He's kept everyone here too poor to riot. They have to pay the taxes or deal with the suits." He indicated back to the cumbersome electric suit. "My grandfather has a fire one and I have the lightning one."

Bakura nodded, thoroughly impressed. "Pretty good thinking for an old man. I did something similar to the slums in Arabasta." He smirked smugly at the thought. "I didn't feel like handing the reigns over to some incompetent fool so he could drive the slums into the ground. So, I drained the next slumlord's resources of money and food, making the citizens harder to control because they will have everything that they need to survive well."

"Ha! Spiteful slumlord, aren't you? What'd the pathetic bastard ever do to you?" Reik chuckled.

"He was the leader of the rebel army, and he was fighting against King Cobra. I may not like the king, but it would have torn my underworld kingdom apart." His eyes narrowed. "I don't like people fucking with my possessions."

Reik shook his head with a smirk. "You sound a lot like my grandfather. Maybe I should take you to meet him?" He suggested hopefully.

Bakura felt a small shred of sympathy for shooting down the bratty man's obviously good intentions. "Sorry, but I can't. I have urgent belli-making business here. I just need to find my partner, Malik, and I can get started."

Reik sighed but nodded good-naturedly. "Ah well. It was worth a try. I don't meet many people here who manage to get it in good with the guards and could probably get along well with my grandpa. Most people here run in terror when they here the names Whetton, Philip, or Reik. The curse of having the mayor as your grandfather." His eyes slid slyly to Bakura. "What exactly is your scheme anyways? It'll have to be pretty good to pull any money out of these penny-pincher's pockets."

"Well, your taxes did make it difficult for me to come up with a plan. Originally, I was going to do fake fortune telling and have Malik 'convince' them to give us money and spread our fame throughout the city. But no one would come to begin with because they'd all be too poor to spend their money on such frivolities as fortune telling. Besides, too much set up." A smirk crept onto his lips. "Let's just say, these fools will have to pay their friendly travelling witch-doctor a lot of money to get their friends and loved ones out of the strange and mysterious comas so many people seem to have fallen into."

Reik looked at him, eyes wide in shock. "You're the reason everybody's wailing right now? I thought someone's baby or wife had died again from malnutrition." His eyes lit up as he mentally connected the dots. "So you have a devil-fruit ability. Something that has to do with the mind, to put people in comas. Pretty useful." The corner of his mouth twitched slightly. "Why didn't you do that to me then, when I was attacking your friends?"

Bakura snorted. "Hey, now. Don't you dare start insinuating that I'm getting soft. I didn't see the need to provoke the guard and your grandfather anymore than necessary. Then I'd have everybody of influence after me, meaning I'd have to hide out on the ship and not make any money." A small frown crossed his lips. "Besides, those guys aren't my friends. They're just a free ride. We threatened them into it because we were bored of the slums. Quite frankly, their policies and actions annoy me, and I can't wait until Malik and I get a ship of our own so we can do stuff our way."

"You are definitely something else, Bakura. You know where you're heading next?" Reik asked in awe.

"No idea. Like I said, we're just following our ride until we get to a place with a ship. Then, we're gonna steal someone's log pose thing and set out." He stretched his arms out lazily. "Not quite sure what we're going to do then. Being Pirate Kings wouldn't be that bad. But then again, it'd be a shit load of work. I'm not sure that I want to work that hard for something that I don't really care about. Then again, Malik would probably want to be Pirate King for the power, and I could get the treasure… Maybe we will do that after all."

Reik laughed. "I don't doubt it. If you guys do become Pirate Kings, know that you have the allegiance of Reik of Ruluka Island."

Bakura smirked before bowing deeply to the man. "Of course, Reik of Ruluka Island. Just remember that I won't hesitate to call in any favors." He popped his neck and began to walk away from Reik. "I have to go. I still need Malik for my scheme, and if I don't find him soon he'll blow up the city."

The redhead sighed and shook his head as the slumlord disappeared into the crowd. "You are one of a kind, Bakura. And I'm going to have to thank Kami that there isn't anyone else like you."

* * *

Malik sighed as he leaned against the rail. He regretted sighing so much. It was getting rather predictable. It was just the fact that everything about this crew was so… so _strange_, that it was impossible for even an insane person to keep up with their abnormal whims. Right now, he was on a boat. Not just a boat. The Going Merry. He was on precariously perched on the old wooden rail of the Going Merry, watching the waves as they beat in a violent motion against the ship.

The relationship between ships and the ocean was also strange. It was like a malicious ex-wife trying to murder her estrabged husband for revenge for leaving her alone with their bratty children. Essentially, it was one fucked up relationship. Charming. It definitely didn't work well; some boats polluted the ocean, and sometimes the ocean destroyed boats. They hurt each other. But here he was, smack-dab in the middle of a fucked up relationship on Bakura's whim for an adventure. Another sigh escaped his lips. What had he gotten himself into?

"Malik, stop sighing. It's getting rather annoying. And pretty predictable. Almost every time I see you, you're sighing." Usopp chided as he leaned over beside the blonde. "Why don't you come up with something new. How about… Every time you are about to sigh, instead, you give me a hundred belli." He suggested hopefully.

Malik was not impressed. "How about… no. Didn't I tell you that this is Bakura's money? I don't keep any of the money I make. I give it all to him. Which means even though he's technically letting me borrow my own money, it belongs to him. And when I spend Bakura's money on non-life threatening situations, he gets pissed. And when he gets pissed, lots of nice and happy people drop dead."

"Stop scaring Usopp, Smut. And you may want to get off the railing. We're pulling up beside the Tyrielshin right now. If you don't move, you may get hit." Robin stated passively.

The blond slumlord's face twisted into a condescending sneer. "I didn't know you cared, princess." Nevertheless, he followed her suggestion and stepped back from the rail.

Luffy danced in front of him, waving wildly at Professor Henzo. "Hey! Professor! Wait for us!" He slung an arm onto the high rail and pulled himself up. "I want to know where you got your little boat thing! It's so cool."

"Y-Your arm just stretched! You… you have a Devil-fruit power!" Henzo exclaimed in surprise.

The black haired captain grinned broadly as he stretched a cheek out with a finger. "Yep. I ate the Gomu Gomu fruit. I'm a rubber man." He replied happily, before letting his cheek snap back into place.

Henzo nodded. "I see…" He walked back into the dusty depths of the galleon without another word, leaving Luffy gaping behind him.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Luffy cried as he ran after the professor.

Malik rolled his eyes as his two companions climbed onto the galleon and followed their captain. "Oh, no. Don't worry about me. I'm staying here." He mumbled dejectedly as he dropped beside Zoro. A third sigh escaped his lips and he mentally slapped himself. What was with him and sighing? He crossed his arms beside his head and leaned back to glare at the clouds. This was all taking too long. The plots, the intrigue, the hatred, the joy… Nothing seemed to be going quickly for Malik.

_Perhaps,_ he thought to himself, _perhaps we really don't belong here. After all, what are we doing, staying with dream chasing pirates? From what Luffy has said, he wants to become the world-renowned Pirate King for the simple chance at freedom. If Bakura or I decided to become Pirate King, it would be for the power, money, and fame. This idiot sleeping beside me wants to become the best swordsman in the world. On the off chance that Bakura or I even considered it for even a second, it would only be so we could threaten other people for power or money._ Malik snorted at the thoughts bouncing through his over-crowded mind. _Let's face it. What are two slumlords like us doing with the Dream Team? All we care about is money and power. For those with wild dreams like these, it is generally frowned upon to be focused on such trivial ambitions. I suppose part of the problem is that these dreamers have morals. If someone wanted to, they could classify Bakura and I as dreamers for our desires. But we won't stop at anything to get what we crave. These fools will. That is what separates them from us. The dreaded Slumlords from the childish pirates._

Malik coughed as he inhaled something strange. He looked around, noticing for the first time that the ship was moving. A strange fog was surrounding the ship and the blond stood up unsteadily.

"So you aren't dead. Pity." Robin goaded as he staggered over to her.

"What the hell? Where the fuck are we?" He demanded nervously, trying to see through the thick rainbow colored smog.

Usopp looked just as nervous as Malik as he walked over to the slumlord on treacherously faltering feet. "We're in the rainbow mist. No one who's gone in has ever come out." He muttered.

Malik paled beneath his tan, turning to glare at the grinning captian. "What the hell? Are you fucking insane? Bring me back to the shore this instant! Bakura's going to kill me if I die in here! He won't make his money, and I know Bakura! He will find some way to kill me, even after my soul has already been weighed." He groaned as he held his face in his hands. "I won't even make it to the after-life! You need to be mummified to do that, so I'll just die and stay in this mother-fucking fog forever!"

Luffy just laughed. "Lighten up, Malik. You're supposed to be a slumlord. Be fearless."

Malik shot up from his hands, eyes boring holes into Luffy. "You!" He growled angrily, asserting control over the captain's mind. "You are going to turn this damned ship around, now!"

Luffy began a robotic trek to the wheel, prepared to redirect the ship back towards the mainland.

"It's no use. We're already ensnared in the fog. We're here. In Ape's Concert." Henzo recited monotonously.

The slumlord's control over Luffy snapped as a treacherous glare sought to destroy Henzo. "And what exactly is this damned place, hmm, _Professor_?" He snarled angrily.

Robin stepped up to the railing, eyes wide in shock as her dark eyes roamed over the forms of half-sunken rotting ships. "Ape's Concert. This place is a ship graveyard."


End file.
